Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 76812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Beck doesn't say anything about the door being locked when he comes back a few minutes later. He offers me a wrapped snack cake and a bottle of water before sitting on the bed.
I want to say thank you for all that he's done for me, but I know it will only open the door to him listing the ways I can thank him. Although I know it's coming, I just don't want to be the one to set that into motion.
Instead, I lift the remote and go back to the show he was watching before lunch.
We spend the rest of the day until dinnertime exactly as we have all day, watching television and not speaking to each other.
He stays gone a long while when he leaves for dinner, but he told me he would. My shower is just as fast as it was this morning, but I don't let myself imagine being able to get back on the regular routine I had at the shelter. I prefer to bathe at night because it helps me feel better going into a night of bad dreams.
He doesn't bring himself a plate of food when he comes back, and I find myself a little sad that we won't be eating together.
"Thank you," I whisper when he places the plate in front of me, once again keeping his distance, as if he's feeding a feral dog that might run at the first chance.
"Of course," he says, giving me a quick smile. "Is it okay if I grab some clothes?"
I look above my head, feeling like a complete asshole for invading this man's space. He must think I'm a complete nutcase.
"Yeah, I mean I can—"
"You're fine. I just didn't want to upset you."
I open my mouth to argue with him, that part of my nature is something that continuously got me in trouble with Nathan, but I clamp my mouth closed instead.
He doesn't speak again as he grabs some clothes. He stops at the dresser for something out of the top drawer before disappearing into the bathroom.
Although from my vantage point, I can't see the door, I know by the lack of sound that he doesn't lock it behind him.
I can't let myself think that he trusts me enough not to go in there while he's vulnerable. It's more likely that he knows I'm not brave enough to do it. He'd be right.
I'm a coward. Despite my mouth that sometimes opens before I can think about the repercussions, I'm not a fan of getting into trouble. I wouldn't have left the compound a year ago if I hadn't been right at my breaking point. I feel no more healed, isolating myself in this closet, than I did looking over my shoulder as I ran away from the two men who seemed to take so much pleasure in hurting me.
Xan is dead, but his death will just bring on Nathan's rage. I don't know if it was Farmington police or Cerberus that put the bullet in Xan's head, but Nathan will blame me. I'll be the one to suffer the consequences of his son dying.
Everyone came for Beth. They were all dressed as commandos, carrying guns, and wearing bulletproof vests. All of it for her, because someone cared enough to go look for her.
I can't even fathom someone loving me enough to do that.
The only reason Nathan searched for me was because I betrayed him, and he just couldn't let something like that slide.
Chapter 13
Newton
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to ward off the exhaustion I feel after a week of Brielle living in my bedroom closet.
We have a routine. We watch television all damn day and I bring her food.
When I leave in the evenings for dinner, she locks the door and takes her shower. I come back into the room, usually an hour later, to the entire room masked in her flowery scent. I think it's driving me insane. I could set my watch to the routine we've managed to wordlessly set up.
Only last night, instead of her thanking me for dinner and closing the door to the closet, she left it open a crack.
It means she's at least trusting me some, and that's an improvement. I'd never rush her. I'd never swing the door open and give her commands. I know she got enough of that from Xan and Nathan. It's the last thing she needs, and I know that it will only set her back. When you grow up getting hurt, tough love is the least effective thing. It simply doesn't work.
We rarely speak to each other, and I'm mostly okay with that. I'm not exactly a big talker. I'd rather read a book or sit quietly and watch television. I'd rather observe others as they interact than be a part of the conversations.