Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 94653 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94653 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
“Are you saying…” Her voice trails off as her narrowed eyes search mine.
I lift my chin, all the while rubbing soft circles against her palm. “Go ahead. Get it out.”
“Are you trying to say that you’ve never had sex before?” There’s a beat of strained silence. “Is that what you’re telling me?”
I jerk my shoulders and try to keep my voice level. “Would that really be so hard to believe?”
Her eyes widen as if I’ve just said something outlandish. “Yeah, it is.”
“Why?”
She blinks before muttering, “Because…well, look at you.”
Heat suffuses her cheeks.
It’s fucking adorable.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, a slight quirk on my lips.
“You’re gorgeous. Ever since stepping foot on campus, I’ve heard how girls talk about you. The hot, tatted up goalie.” Fallyn rolls her eyes, letting me know what her thoughts are on the matter. “You can’t be that oblivious.”
“You’re right. I’m not.”
She straightens and lifts her chin. “So then, the answer is no. I don’t believe for a minute that you haven’t had the chance to hook up with all the groupies that throw themselves at you.”
I shift closer until the hard edge of the table presses into my chest. “You’re talking about two different things. One is opportunity. The other is desire.” When she blinks again like I’ve complicated a mathematical equation she’s desperate to solve, I continue. “I’ve had plenty of opportunities to have sex. The problem is that I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.”
That slack jawed expression returns full force.
It’s so damn tempting to slide from the booth, scoop her up into my arms, and carry her ass out of the restaurant, but there’s more that needs to be hashed out between us before that can occur.
My grip tightens around her fingers as my eyes probe hers, sifting through the disbelief. She needs to understand just how serious I am.
This matters.
She matters.
“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted, Fallyn. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. How could I think about screwing another girl when none of them were you?”
That question hangs heavily in the air.
“Your parents wouldn’t allow you to date until you were sixteen. So, I waited. I wanted to ask you on your birthday but...”
Grief flashes across her face. “The accident.”
“Yeah.” I can only imagine that the very same expression is etched across mine. Fallyn turned sixteen a month after her brother died.
When she leans closer, it feels as if we’re both straining toward each other. Like two magnets intent on being together.
“You’ve really never had sex?” Confusion flickers across her face as her voice dips to a whisper. “Like ever?”
“I tried to fool around with a couple of groupies freshman year, but it didn’t feel right.” Memories flash through my brain. “It was awkward. Every time I closed my eyes, you were the one I imagined. But none of them smelled or felt like you. Their lips weren’t plush like yours. So, I didn’t bother. I focused on school and hockey.” Before I can stop myself, I blurt, “And you.”
She tucks an errant lock of hair behind her ear. “Me? What do you mean?”
I jerk my shoulders, not wanting to come off like a stalker.
Although…
Maybe that’s exactly what I am.
Even when I thought Fallyn was lost to me, there was only ever her.
“I kept tabs on you. When you were in the hospital and then when you started at the new high school. I knew a few guys who played hockey there, and they watched out for you. Made sure no one gave you problems.”
I examine her face for clues as to what she’s thinking. The last thing I want to do is creep her out.
“You did?”
“Yeah.”
When I squeeze her fingers, she glances down and stares at them for a long, silent moment. With every heartbeat, the tension ratchets up until there’s a good possibility I’ll choke on it.
Nerves get the best of me. “Fallyn?”
“I just can’t believe all of this,” she whispers before chewing her lower lip. “Were you serious when you said that my parents wouldn’t allow you to see me? When I asked them, they said you didn’t bother reaching out.” Her voice thickens with unspent emotion. “That it was Miles you were friends with, not me.”
Anger rushes through my veins. It takes effort to keep my voice level, but it still comes out sounding like a feral growl. “I always cared about you. I was friends with you just as much as I was with Miles.”
Her shoulders fall forward as if there is a thousand-pound weight forcing them down. “I don’t know what to believe. I hate the idea that they might have lied to me.” Her voice dips. “That they kept you away on purpose. Especially when I needed you more than anything else.”
My heart twists beneath my ribcage. I hate that I wasn’t there for her and couldn’t help her to heal.