Total pages in book: 19
Estimated words: 17808 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 89(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 17808 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 89(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
I put my glasses back on as if anyone could see me other than Ronan. I didn’t chew them as much anymore, but I was more nervous than usual.
“Jesus, he’s so cute. You guys don’t even know,” Ronan added, which made me roll my eyes.
“He insists on embarrassing me,” I finally said.
Ronan winked and smiled. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it. Anyway, you guys hear me talk about Mickey all the time, so I’m gonna let him take over.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I replied truthfully. I wasn’t cut out for this whole podcast gig.
“You can say whatever you want, or we can jump right in and you can tell them what you’re here to say.”
My stomach was flopping around like a dying fish, but I took a couple of deep breaths and did my best to ignore it. “Well…I’m Mickey…clearly, I’m Mickey, and I’m pretty sure it’s me who’s lucky enough to share a bed with you every night, but I’m glad you think it’s the other way around.”
He chuckled.
“But, um…well, we’re here today to talk about my secret identity. Okay, no, scratch that. Pretend I didn’t say it. I’m not a secret agent or anything like that.”
Ronan laughed again, and I flipped him off.
“He’s so mean to me,” I teased. “But as I was saying, by day I’m a librarian. I love books. I’ve always loved books. They’ve been my escape most of my life. They were my friends when I was young and didn’t have many, and as an adult, they became a way to…well, experience some of my fantasies or to explore sex in a way I’d never allowed myself to in real life. I think in so many ways, sex is still such a taboo topic. It’s something we’re made to feel ashamed of or that we make ourselves feel ashamed of. I write about characters who are sexually liberated in ways I’d longed for myself.” Holy shit. I couldn’t believe I’d admitted that.
When Ronan cocked a brow at me, I realized I’d missed a step. “Apparently, I skipped the part where I tell you all that in addition to being a librarian, I’m also an author of sex-positive, queer erotica. I write as Adrian Raynes, and I’m here to celebrate the release of my new book, Never Have I Ever, in which a man, Talon, decides to explore who he is through sex and different sexual activities he’s always been curious about but has never experienced. Each was supposed to be with a different man, but a few nights in, he meets someone he keeps returning to. Together they explore Talon’s fantasies, and eventually, they fall in love.”
The book wasn’t about us, clearly. I hadn’t set out on a sexual journey; I’d just fallen in love with the man I was always supposed to be with and had fulfilled some of my fantasies along the way. Ronan and I kept sex fresh and exciting. He talked about it so much sometimes I couldn’t help but get embarrassed, but he was big on honesty when it came to our desires. He wanted to give me mine, and I wanted to give him his as well.
“That’s the first time you’ve publicly admitted you’re Adrian Raynes. How does it feel?”
“Liberating,” I answered honestly.
He mouthed “I love you” and I nodded.
Ronan said, “I got to read this book early, obviously—a perk of being in love with the author—and when I say it’s incredible, I’m not saying it just because of who Mickey is to me. I loved the journey he took Talon on. It was both incredibly sexy and moving and deep. It tackles shame in regard to sex and sexuality—judgment against people who have multiple sexual partners, sometimes all at once, or are in open relationships—and how fulfilling sex can be. Talon grows so much throughout the book. It’s really beautiful to see.”
I reached across the table and took his hand. Sometimes I just needed to touch him, and it helped ground me. “That’s what I hoped for. You sort of have to agree with me, though. Let’s just hope readers do too.”
We both laughed.
The discussion went on from there. Ronan and I talked about my books, about writing, and also about sex and desire in general because some of the things we craved weren’t just about sex. Some were other ways of being intimate—emotional needs, mental ones, or even something as simple as jumping into a swimming hole and skinny-dipping with a beautiful man.
“Jesus, you did great,” Ronan said when we were done.
“It was fun. I might want to be on the show more often.” I could practically see the wheels turning in his brain. “I was joking.”
“But it’s a good idea, baby. We can do a He Said, He Said segment once a month…or every two months. Or we can—”