Total pages in book: 213
Estimated words: 202770 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1014(@200wpm)___ 811(@250wpm)___ 676(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 202770 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1014(@200wpm)___ 811(@250wpm)___ 676(@300wpm)
Of course, the insecure part of me, the part that has always been a Knight, with no real identity, wants to reject that idea, to protect myself. But Jax wins this self-doubt versus satisfaction push and pull. Right here, right now, with him, is one of those moments in time that a little girl imagines she might one day feel, but the adult woman dismisses as a fairy tale. But then I am standing in a castle on the ocean. Unbidden, my minds adds, a castle where his brother died.
It’s a horrible thought that ends with his cellphone ringing. My heart lurches with that call, and I grab Jax’s arm. “That might be Savage. Before you answer, just remember that together doesn’t mean you and Savage. Whatever we find out about our families, or whatever is in that envelope, might have consequences. Please, let’s deal with you and me, first.”
“We’ll take it one step at a time, together. Let’s see what he has to say.”
On the surface, it’s a good answer, if you look beyond the absence of agreement. “No running, we agreed,” I say. “No secrets either. I offered you my father’s paperwork. You have to be just as upfront with me. I need to know—”
“I have been just as upfront with you.”
“You didn’t want to tell me about the envelope.”
“But I did. I would have, even if you hadn’t overheard my talk with Savage.” His hands settle on my neck, just under my hair, and he tilts my gaze to his. “I didn’t want you to be scared in my home. I want you to want to be here.”
“I do. I do want to be here.”
“And I want you to keep wanting to be here. That’s all. I wasn’t hiding anything. I was protecting you.”
“Protect me by being by my side, dealing with all the facts. When I said that I’m used to being alone, that’s true, but what’s also true is my ability to handle shit that gets thrown at me. I can handle whatever is in that envelope.”
“And yet, you tried to run.”
“I’m standing right here now, Jax.” My voice lowers and vibrates, as I add, “I’m standing right here.”
His expression softens. “I know, baby.”
“Do you? Because—”
“I know,” he repeats, and his phone has not only stopped ringing, it’s started all over again. “I better grab the call.”
I nod, and reluctantly, it seems, he steps away from me, snatching up his pants from the side of the tub and removing his phone. Folding my arms in front of me, I hug myself, waiting for where this call might lead us. The truth is that the light in the sea of loss and pain has been Jax. I’ve been living in hell, and he’s pulled me back into the light. I dread the envelope. I dread what someone knows that I don’t know. I suck in a breath, holding it, as I watch Jax answer the call, waiting for what feels like the end.
Chapter fifty-nine
Jax
At the sight of Jill’s number on my caller ID, I’m instantly on edge again, which is why I don’t turn around to face Emma. The timing of this call, right after me finding that envelope, does not sit well. “This is Jax,” I answer.
“Why do you always do that?” she demands. “I know you see the caller ID. I know you know it’s me.”
I rotate to face Emma, who’s kneeling next to her suitcase. Her eyes find mine, a question in their depths that I answer by saying, “It’s early, Jill.” I watch a mix of relief and disappointment flicker across her delicate features. She’s worried about what’s inside the envelope, and she’s both relieved that I don’t have bad news and disappointed to remain in the dark. Her apprehension drives my irritation at Jill, which as of late, has grown exponentially. “What do you need?” I ask.
“Do you know how rude you sound?”
She’s right. I do, and while I’d normally apologize, I can’t shake the feeling that she’s guilty. Of what I don’t know, but she’s pushing my buttons. As if proving that point, she makes a disgusted sound. “I could say a few things to you but I won’t, considering Kent Sawyer’s here.”
At the name certain to cause problems for me and Emma, I rotate and exit the bathroom, removing myself from Emma’s astute inspection. “How the hell does he know that I’m here?” I ask, grabbing the remote by the bed and opening the blinds, an overcast morning limiting the light spilling into the room.
“I have no clue, and if that question assumes that I told him, I didn’t. Maybe Brody did. He’s been off his rocker since he got here yesterday.”
“Brody deals with his retail locations.”
“It’s a small town, and they’re both in town a day earlier than expected. That feels off to me, but you know, you don’t seem to value my opinion these days, so ignore me. He’s presently in the library, sipping the coffee I had delivered to him from the kitchen.”