Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
He doesn’t say anything for a moment. I’m sure he’s weighing what to say so as to not offend me. Because I’m absolutely right. I was a brat, and we both know it. It was my behavior that led me to where I am today.
It wasn’t my fault. I understand that. I had no idea that Garrett was going to be such an asshole. An asshole who would drug a woman.
The truly sad thing is that he didn’t even need to drug me. I was infatuated with him—with his dark good looks, his love of dancing, his intelligence.
He didn’t need to drug me to have sex with him.
But as I looked back at it in therapy, I came to understand that he was also conniving. He broke up with me, and I was heartbroken. Then he came back to me, and I was elated. Then he drugged me, and God knows what he did to me after that.
He didn’t love me. He manipulated me, and who knows how many other women he violated in the same way?
He’ll be sorry he chose me because I’ll be the one to put him behind bars. He may be out on bail now, but there will be a trial, and he’s guilty as sin.
I hate that he’s out on bail right now, but I have a restraining order against him. He can’t come near me.
Finally, Ben opens his mouth to speak. “No woman deserves what happened to you. It doesn’t matter what you did or what you think you did. None of that matters, Tessa. This was not your fault.”
“I know that.” Doesn’t change the fact that if I hadn’t been envious of Skye’s newfound love I probably wouldn’t have put myself in the position to be harmed.
“Do you, though?”
“I do.” I scratch an itch that springs up on the side of my head. “Objectively, anyway. Believe me, I’ve been over and over it with my therapist.”
He smiles. “Good. I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. Is there anything I can do?”
I look at him, then.
And for the second time, I feel the urge to touch him.
I reach forward, feather my fingers over his stubbled cheek. It feels scratchy, but also…good. It feels good to touch another person. Another man.
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t try to touch me. He just lets me do what I want to do.
“You’re such a good-looking man,” I say.
“Thank you. You’re a beautiful woman.” He lowers his voice. “You’re the most beautiful woman here.”
My cheeks warm in the moonlight. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.
I never minded it before, but these days it seems like a curse.
When a man looks at me now, all I feel is the glare of his eyes burning holes into my flesh.
But Ben is looking at me…and for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel that.
I don’t feel like he’s burning two holes into me.
No. To the contrary, I want him to look at me. I want him to see me. Because I know he sees more than just my beauty.
He sees what I’ve been through, the haunting within me.
And though he may not understand, he’s trying to. In his way, he’s trying to help. He tried to help by taking the burden of the bachelorette party off of me.
He’s a good man, and I’m glad he sees beyond my looks, but I’m more than what I’ve been through, and I want him to see that part of me too.
I drop my hand back to my side.
“You can touch me, Tessa,” Ben says. “I don’t mind.”
I say nothing.
“Is there anything else I can do for you tonight? See you to your room?”
I resist the urge to lash out at him, to tell him there’s more to me than some fragile woman who went through a tragic ordeal and nearly died.
“I’m not done walking yet.”
“Then I’ll walk with you. Because as I said, I don’t want you out here alone.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ben
Hell no, she won’t be alone. Not after that asshole bartender threatened me. Tried to blackmail me. Does he have a clue what kind of security I have? He’ll pay for mentioning Dirk Conrad and for trying to get Tessa handed to him on a platter.
Right about now, he’s being escorted off the premises.
Fucking Dirk Conrad.
It’s my own damned fault for getting involved with the likes of him in the beginning.
I think about what Tessa just said to me—about how she was feeling lonely and left out when Skye and Braden got serious.
We have that in common.
I got involved with Dirk in a stupid gang for similar reasons.
I was angry. Angry that I couldn’t have any fun in high school. That I was expected to go to school, get perfect grades, and then go work with Braden and my dad. I felt left out of the fun of my senior year.