Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 93387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
“She’s blind.”
I grinned, opening a container and passing it to her. “You know it. Now, enough about my family history. I want you to eat. You’re going to need it for later.”
“Whatever.”
I grinned. “I’ll give you whatever soon enough.”
She frowned, and I leaned close. “Hey. Leave it. They’re gone.”
She met my gaze. “I hate that they hurt you.”
“Then it’s a good thing I have you, isn’t it?”
She furrowed her brow but nodded.
We ate in silence for a while. Despite what had happened, I was hungry. Somehow with Magnolia beside me, her words still in my head, nothing my so-called family said had any meaning. I studied her as we ate. I slid closer, feeding her pieces of sweet-and-sour chicken, garlicky green beans, steamed dumplings. I needed her to eat. I refused to allow them into our space.
After dinner, she put away the leftovers and made some of her foamy coffees. We sipped, eating the lychee nuts I had ordered, picking them from the ice bath one by one and enjoying the unique flavor. She nibbled on the fortune cookies, crunching them and laughing over the fortunes.
The sun was setting, and we went out to the patio, watching as it sank, turning the sky a myriad of colors. I sipped a brandy, then stood behind Magnolia, linking my arms around her. She leaned back into me with a sigh.
“Marry me.”
“Why? To get back at your mother?”
“Frankly, she has nothing to do with it. I don’t care about her feelings one way or another.”
“Then why?”
“Because we suit. We like each other. You make me…feel.”
“I make you feel. But not enough to love.”
“I’m not capable of that.”
“I want more,” she replied, her voice sad.
“I can’t love, Myers. I can care. I can protect. Provide. We can have a good life together.”
She was silent.
“It solves so many things. You’ll have a great place to live. A partner who will support you in everything. You can do whatever you want with your life.”
“Except have a husband who loves me.”
“Maybe what we’ll have will be better. Desire, affection, friendship, respect. Those things mean a great deal.”
“What about children?”
“I don’t want kids,” I replied honestly.
“Why?”
“Magnolia, I have no idea how to be a father. If I’d make a good one. My childhood was so awful, I have no clue how to nurture a child.” I paused. “If I could even love them.”
“I think you could learn. And I think if you open yourself up, you could love them.”
“It’s not a chance I want to take.” I swallowed. “But you want kids, I assume.”
“I’m not sure. But I do know I want the option if I decide.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. “Maybe we could revisit that subject.” It was all I could offer. I couldn’t see changing my mind, but we could discuss it.
She turned in my arms. “Why?” she asked again. “Why do you want to marry me? You can get companionship with someone else.”
“No. Because of your heart. How you care. How you love. I might not be able to do it, but with you, it’s effortless. You offer love so freely. In your touch. Your actions.”
“And what would I get from it?”
“Security. Wealth. Permanent custody of Hedgy.” I paused, dipping down and kissing her. “Of me.”
“But not your heart.”
“There are other parts of me so much more useful, Myers.” I dragged my mouth down her neck. “So much more enjoyable.”
She whimpered, and I took the opportunity to cover her mouth with mine, kissing her until she was shaking in my arms.
“Think about it,” I begged.
“Okay.”
I took that as progress. It wasn’t a yes, but I had a feeling it would be soon enough.
Chapter Twenty-Three
MAGNOLIA
He didn’t say it back.
He said he can’t love.
He can care.
I rolled over carefully, looking at Alex in the dim light of the morning. Asleep, he looked younger, less stressed. Not stern and uptight, but almost peaceful.
The missing scowl and furrows on his forehead helped. So did the kitten curled up by his neck.
Before I could stop myself, I lifted my hand and drifted my fingers over his cheek. Traced his jawline gently. Touched his hair. His skin was rougher than mine, the scruff on his chin scratchy. His hair was soft, though.
As soft as the heart I thought he was hiding.
He did care. But there was more. I saw it when he couldn’t let Hedgy go to an unknown future. I saw it when he spoke with my father, careful and gentle.
I felt it when he held me. Every single time.
And I felt it when I held him.
He was broken. Unsure. Scared.
But not unable to love.
He had to figure it out on his own, though, because the one thing I knew without a doubt about Alexander Bane was that he was stubborn.
If I pushed, he would back away. Declare his heart off-limits and refuse to even try.