Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 164705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Maybe I wanted to gush about Briar, but it would only rub life in his face. Or maybe I hoped he’d finally free me of the promise he’d torn out of me after I’d ruined his life. Either way, neither would happen.
I knew it. And still …
I propped a shoulder on his doorframe, tucking my hands into my front pockets. “There’s a dinner party outside tonight. I just wanted to let you know.”
His back trembled with a dry chuckle. “Making sure the monster doesn’t wander out of its cage to scare your guests?”
I fucking loathed that he thought of himself as a monster. That when he glared into a mirror, he saw the same face I saw and couldn’t see someone worth loving.
“You know damn well there is nothing I want more than to see you there, having dinner with us, socializing again.” I was so quiet, I doubted he could hear me.
“Aw. Well, aren’t you a darling.”
A muscle jumped in my jaw. I swallowed a growl of frustration. “I just want you to be happy.”
“Should’ve thought about that before you fucked up my face, I’m afraid.”
He snapped the handle back in its place and shot up, grabbing a small towel from the railing and wiping his face and hair. He slam-dunked it into a laundry basket, picked up the shaker bottle with his amino acids, and ambled over to me.
Sebastian’s face never healed. Not really.
It wasn’t easy to admit, but it was the truth. I’d rendered it completely changed, with missing parts and chunks of stitched-together skin.
“As I said, thanks for the heads up.” Sebastian met my gaze head-on, his eyes – blue like the ocean – staring back at me. “Anything else?”
“Come to the plastic surgeon with me.” The desperate plea in my voice pissed me off. I shouldn’t beg him for this. “Let’s explore our opti—”
“I am entirely disinterested in putting lipstick on a pig.” His metallic laughter echoed down the corridor. “Nothing will make me look like I once did. I want my old face back. I want my old life back. If it’s scraps or nothing, I choose nothing at all.”
“Why are you so stubborn?” I ground out, frustrated.
“Why are you so stupid?”
I shook my head. “Mom should’ve let you drip down her leg.”
That made him snort. “You’re a hopeless romantic to assume Dad is open to anything other than missionary-style for the purpose of reproduction.”
His shoulder bumped into mine as he pushed out the door, storming over to his room.
I followed him. “Nobody wants to be lonely.”
“No?” He charged into his en-suite bathroom, where he flicked on the faucet to his bathtub. Water gushed inside. “Then, how come you’re still alone?”
A dark grin twisted his cheeks. He knew exactly why I was alone. He knew what I wanted – and that he was the reason I’d lost it. Neither of us would admit it. After I’d made the promise, we’d never spoken about it again.
“I’m alone, not lonely.” I waved my arm toward the lake, where the caterers had probably already finished setting up my dinner with the guys. “I see our parents almost every week—”
“And hate every minute of it.”
“I have friends—”
“Workout buddies who have their own families and social circles.”
Sebastian never missed a chance to remind me that Rom and Zach shared a closer bond with each other than I did with either of them. I was the third wheel. The one who invited himself to their party of two when I discovered most people were insufferable. By then, they’d known each other for five years, growing up next door to one another.
And after Seb’s accident …
Well, I didn’t want to get too close to anyone else.
“Hookups,” I pointed out, desperate. “I have hookups. I enjoy one-night stands.”
Okay. One-night stand. Singular. Just to try it out. Spoiler alert: it sucked. I gave up after. The truth was, I liked to make fun of Zach for being a virgin, but he probably had fifty times more sex in his short marriage than I had my entire life.
“And I enjoy lengthy walks in hell with my best buddies Dahmer and Bundy.” Sebastian snorted, snatching a small bottle of bath salts off the counter. “I’m not buying what you’re selling, Oliver. You’re as miserable and lonely as I am. You’re just better at pretending otherwise.”
You asked me to be, I wanted to scream.
Instead, I swallowed my frustration, burying it beside my resentment.
He emptied the salt into the water. His body ached all the fucking time. He used industrial amounts of salts, oils, and multivitamins to try to ease the pain
I squared my shoulders. “At least I don’t hide from the world.”
He tipped his head back and released a bitter laugh. “Try living in my body for one minute and you will, too.”
That shut me up.
I knew he was right. I just didn’t want him to be.