Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 63282 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63282 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Luca didn’t respond.
When I check the date, I realize that was the day before my mom’s sudden appearance at the clinic. That explains why she was there. She didn’t care about me. She just wanted to use me to get some drugs.
I almost chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all. Turns out I was right when I thought her behavior was suspicious. I’m not shit at recognizing my mom’s true motives, after all.
I just can’t seem to be able to read Luca as easily. I can’t believe I didn’t see the signs that he was lying to me. Even right now, he stares at me openly with bright eyes, unburdened by guilt—or so it appears, to me.
Donna: I told her you’re a dealer and a junkie
Donna: I told her you’re going to drag her down with you
Donna: Give me the stuff and I’ll tell her I was wrong
Luca: Sarah’s too smart to listen to your bullshit
I lift my gaze to meet Luca’s.
“I’m not saying that believing in your mom was stupid,” Luca says. “I just . . . I don’t know. I was convicted for drug crimes, so I can see why you’d believe her.
“And I know I was acting shady sometimes, and I’m sorry. I need you to believe me when I tell you that I’ve never had any bad intentions toward you. In fact, I did it all for you.”
“Did what?” I ask, confused. “Wait, so are you a junkie or a dealer?”
“Neither,” Luca says firmly.
“Then why is my mom so convinced that you have what she wants?” I stop myself from asking, and why do you actually have it?
I don’t know who Luca really is. He could be dangerous. I don’t want a dangerous man to know I’ve seen proof of his crime.
“Because I did,” Luca admits.
Despite his clear intention to come clean, it still surprises me to hear him say it. Also, does that mean he’s already sold the drugs? When, where, how, and to whom? I have so many questions.
“Why did you have it if you weren’t a junkie or a dealer?”
Luca falls silent. He puts his hands over his face and lets out a big sigh. “I promised Peter I wasn’t going to tell you.”
“What does Peter have to do with anything?”
“Everything has been about him.” Luca stares at me strangely. “There’s nothing I want more than to tell you, Sarah. You have that betrayed look on your face, and I’d do anything to make you see that I was only trying to protect you.”
“So tell me,” I challenge him.
I don’t see how he can spin his story to excuse everything he’s done, but I want to hear this. I especially want to know what Peter’s got to do with this.
“I promised Peter I wasn’t going to tell you . . .” Luca draws a long breath, looking conflicted.
“How convenient.”
“I think Peter would understand, though. If he were here to see what this secret’s done to us . . . he’d want me to tell you.”
“Okay.” I’m still waiting.
“Peter didn’t die of cancer.”
“What do you mean?” I ask quickly. “That’s not possible. I saw the medical records. I talked to his doctor. He told me that—”
“He had cancer,” Luca says, cutting off my stream of questions. “But that wasn’t what killed him. He died of overdose. Somehow, I got Dr. Norman to keep it quiet and let everyone assume Peter had died of cancer.”
I don’t know if I believe this story. But before I know it, tears spring forth from my eyes.
My brother . . . died of overdose? My heart shatters at the thought of him dealing with cancer and addiction at the same time.
I wasn’t there for him.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. But it’s true,” Luca says softly. “Peter didn’t want you to find out. That’s why he was feeding you all those lies about how he was fine, and you didn’t have to come home.
“He didn’t want you to see him all sick and weak. His whole adult life, he’d tried to be strong for you, to replace your parents. He didn’t want you to remember him as he was in his last months.”
I frown. “So you knew he was doing this?”
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t say anything? It didn’t seem fucked-up to you that he was keeping me in the dark and depriving me of the chance to say goodbye?” My voice grows louder as grief fans the angry flame burning inside me. “I can’t believe you let him become an addict. You knew how sick he was. And you still have the gall to call yourself a friend?”
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms.
Luca shakes his head. “The pain he was in . . . He needed those drugs, Sarah. I couldn’t have taken them from him. I wouldn’t have done that to my worst enemy. And Peter was my best friend.”