Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
I face the garden again, watching as butterflies flutter through the air, their wings bright in the spring sunlight.
Then my mind flits, and I remember the last time I saw Ben instead.
My brother’s best friend, Ben, is the best man for his upcoming wedding.
In two days, he’s going to be standing at the altar with my big brother, and yet I can’t stop thinking about him.
I was fourteen, Alex was twenty-nine, which means Ben would’ve been thirty-one.
He’d waited at the car outside as Alex came to say his final goodbyes that last day before we moved. Sneaking to the window, I’d peered out, watching as he leaned against the car with his arms folded.
His hair was turning a little silver back then, but it wasn’t the full iron it is now. His shoulders were wide in his T-shirt, showing the rippling muscles of his arms, his forearms tense.
His eyes were dark and broody as he watched the house.
I started thinking he wanted a family, a home in my frantic teenage mind. And maybe I could give it to him one day if he could see past my curviness, shyness, dorkiness…or whatever else, whatever it was that made boys either tease or look right through me.
I imagined walking out there and his dark eyes turning down to me.
“Don’t leave,” he’d say in his husky voice. “Stay with me.”
But obviously, he never would’ve done that. I was only fourteen.
Now…
There’s nothing stopping us except for the fact Alex would hate me forever.
“The crush hasn’t gone away,” I say after a long pause. “And I keep thinking silly things.”
“Like what?” she asks.
“Like maybe since I’m grown-up now, he might notice me. Like maybe something could happen. But what if Alex found out? Ben isn’t just his best friend, his best man…he’s his business partner too. It would make Alex’s life so messy.”
“Have you seen him?” June asks.
“I saw Alex last night, after our flight. But Ben wasn’t with him.”
June looks at me, her eyes softening.
“Do you think I’m pathetic?” I ask. It’s something in her expression. “I know I should’ve moved on. I know it was a silly girlish crush. I get all of that.”
“I didn’t say any of that,” June mutters. “It’s just well, try not to get your hopes up. Ben must be in his forties now.”
“He’s thirty-nine,” I say, a little too testily.
It’s like I think I need to defend an age gap that doesn’t matter anyway. It would only matter if Ben was interested, which he’s obviously not going to be.
“Fine,” June says. “But he might think you’re too young for him. Or he might find the Alex thing too awkward. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Don’t worry,” I say. “I know nothing could ever happen.”
“It could,” June counters. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean it will.”
“I know you don’t want to hurt my feelings, so let me say it for you. He’s one of the hottest men who has ever lived, a millionaire or close, ripped as hell, a successful businessman and boxer. He’d never look at me, never notice me. There it is. The truth.”
My voice is trembling. My hands are shaking. I need to calm the heck down.
“I’m sorry,” I say a moment later. “I didn’t mean to go on a rant. I guess I’m preparing myself for disappointment.”
“I think you’re the prettiest, funniest, kindest person ever, for what it’s worth. You’re not my bestie for nothing. Even if you do say freaking and heck.”
I giggle, thankful for the rescue from my bad mood.
“Other than that,” I say, smiling ironically, “I love being back.”
I don’t tell June about the full extent of my want.
I don’t tell her how I felt a physical tightening inside of me the moment the plane’s wheels touched down on the runway.
I don’t tell her about the never-ending pulsing in my mind, as though guiding me to Ben, to his rippled arms, and the glint of savagery in his expression – like he wants to claim me, to make me his, like the wait has been worth it.
But no. I’m the only one who’s been waiting. He hasn’t thought of me once since I left. I was only a kid.
And now….
My cell phone rings.
“Sorry,” I say, checking it. “It’s Alex.”
June waves a hand. “You better answer. It could be important wedding stuff.”
“Hey, sis,” Alex says when I swipe the answer button.
“Hey,” I reply. “How’s it going?”
“All good. Rushed off our feet. Tiff has only threatened to call the wedding off three times this morning, so that’s a plus.”
We both laugh in a good-natured way, knowing Alex and Tiffany are way too in love for her to want to cancel it. But it’s no secret she’s found the planning stressful, hence the jokes.
“Don’t make any plans for tomorrow evening,” he goes on. “Mom and Dad are inviting a few friends over to the Air BnB for catchup. I thought it would be nice to turn it into a little party. Tiffany needs a break, and, honestly, so do I.”