Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 59603 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 298(@200wpm)___ 238(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59603 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 298(@200wpm)___ 238(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
“Babe?”
Her eyes were shut, and she was doubled over a bit, but she had one hand out with a finger pointing up as if to tell me to give her a second.
“I feel weird,” she said. “Not bad. Just… weird.”
“Maybe we should turn back,” I said. “We aren’t quite halfway through the trail. It would be faster to go back the way we came.”
“Yeah,” she said. “That might be a good idea.”
She froze, her eyes going wide, and then she doubled over completely.
“Mela?” I asked.
She took a few more steps, seeming to look for a good place to sit and then crumpled to the ground.
“It’s contractions,” she said. “I’m having contractions.”
I knew being due in a few weeks was not a reason why she couldn’t be in labor now, but still, my brain was stuck on the idea that I had more time. This couldn’t possibly be happening now. Could it?’
“Contractions,” she said through gritted teeth. “Spread out the blanket.”
“Why?” I asked. “You can’t possibly mean… here?”
She looked up at me, her face pained and panicky. She nodded.
Then it hit me. The internal voice of the part of me that was a doctor. It told me I needed to man up and get cracking. There was a baby on the way.
I dropped the backpack and pulled out the blanket, spreading it out at the side of the trail. She scooted toward it and lay down on her side, holding her stomach. She began breathing exercises as I pulled out my phone. I had already dialed the number of her midwife when she looked up at me as a moaning cry came from deep in her throat.
I looked down at her and then followed her gaze to the growing puddle between her legs on the blanket.
Her water had broken.
“Okay,” I said, sticking the phone back in my pocket. “I need you to listen to me very carefully. We are going to have a baby today. I’m not getting any reception out here. I need to get back closer to the trailhead and call for help. Are you going to be all right here by yourself for a few minutes?”
Carmela nodded. “I’ll be all right.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“I don’t really have a lot of other options right now,” she said. “Unless you feel like giving me a piggyback ride, this is what I’m working with.”
I wanted to laugh, but I felt like that probably wasn’t the beset reaction at the moment. Instead, I kissed her and rushed down the trail, hoping I was going to be able to hold it together for her.
23
CARMELA
This couldn't be happening. There was no way this was happening.
I’d spent my whole pregnancy preparing. I took the classes. I read the books. I even watched videos online trying to find out as much as I could about all the different ways people approached labor and delivery so I could choose the path that was right for me. This was my first birth, an experience I was never going to get to have again, and I wanted it to be as perfect as possible.
Of course, there's no such thing as perfect when it comes to bringing a baby into the world. I told myself that, and my midwife reiterated it to me. That was why we made a plan but stayed flexible. I was to envision what I wanted for the birth, tell myself my body could do it, then follow the steps to make that happen, while at the same time accepting the reality that things could change, and I needed to be willing and able to adapt to them.
However, giving birth out in the open in the middle of my brother’s ranch, was not anywhere near any of the scenarios I’d come up with. I took a breath and tried to focus on getting through another wave of pain as it washed over me. The contractions were getting stronger, and I was doing everything I could to stay relaxed during them. That was key to helping my body through labor, my midwife told me. If I could encourage my body to stay relaxed and allow it to do what it needed to do, the process would be smoother and less stressful.
I wasn't sure that fully applied to women unexpectedly going through labor in the woods, but I wasn't going to completely throw away the wisdom. But I was struggling to relax. It wasn't just being out on a hiking trail, and it wasn't just the pain. It was still early, and I was afraid something was going to go wrong with the baby.
For weeks, since my belly first started to show and it all was getting real, I had been looking forward to delivery. I couldn't wait to hold my baby in my arms and just enjoy being a mother. I wanted to see Mark as a father and experience life together. I'd spent so many hours rubbing my belly and talking to the baby, wondering who this tiny person was. I was so excited for the day to come when I would finally get to meet my child. But this wasn't the way I’d ever thought about it. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.