Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
But then, thinking that made me wonder what would have happened to my career and my family. How I would have taken care of them and how I would have hurt my mom.
“You’re as important as everyone else. When are you going to see that? And not because of your fucking voice or how you play the goddamned guitar.”
I hated being in my own head so much. That I overthought everything and had social anxiety. I was so fucking tired of it all.
“Remy, you went there for a reason. I know you’re struggling with writing, and I know you needed space from everything else, but you went there, where your ex-boyfriend—the love of your life—lives, for a reason. You told me once that when you were with him, you felt more like yourself than at any other time in your life. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to explore that? Even if it’s only friendship. You can’t do that by keeping yourself locked away in your house. Be cautious, protect your heart and your privacy, but…you’ve been in a cage your whole life. It’s time you gave yourself a little freedom.”
I hadn’t admitted it to myself, but I knew I came to Havenwood, hoping Law was there. Hoping to have something, even friendship with him again.
I sucked in a sharp breath. My head spun, my world tilting on its axis.
I wanted that. Wanted what she said. Wanted him. But I was afraid of having those things and then losing them. “Thanks, Brit. I gotta…I gotta go.”
I ended the call, stared at a blank sheet of paper…and then, then I wrote.
CHAPTER TEN
Lawson
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Knox said as I made my way toward him at Griff’s. He was already in his spot at the bar, and keeping a stool free for me. Chase was sitting in another. Kellan stood between his legs, leaning back against him, while Griffin busily made drinks behind the counter.
“Hey.” I groaned as I fell onto the seat saved for me. My whole body was tight, as if my skin didn’t fit and my muscles were trying to burst free. My thoughts were all over the place, filled with Remy, him being here and our past. I was pissed at him, but there was also no denying that I was sad for him. It was a lot, the weight he always carried around. I’d thought before that I could help ease it, but I couldn’t. No one could. It was something he had to learn to do for himself.
“Who pissed in your cereal?” Knox asked.
“Huh?”
“What’s wrong? You look upset.”
“Nothing.” I waved off his concern. It wasn’t like I could go into detail about it with anyone, or I’d betray Remy’s privacy. “Can I get a whiskey?”
Griff frowned slightly, probably because it was abnormal for me. Usually, I had a beer or two, and that was the end of it. “Sure thing.”
He was pouring the amber liquid into a glass, when Josh, Kellan’s best friend, came in.
“Hey, babe.” He kissed Kellan’s temple, then said hi to Chase and the rest of us. When Chase had first come back to Havenwood, there had definitely been some tension between the two of them; knowing what I knew now, that was likely because of how close Kellan and Josh were and the fact that Chase wanted Kell. Now they got along well, and there never seemed to be any jealousy or anger between them.
“How’d things go with your friend the other day?” Knox asked.
I bit back a groan. The last thing I wanted was to talk about Remy. Or, again, maybe it was because I knew I couldn’t, not really.
“Which friend?” Griff asked.
“Just an old buddy. We met when I was in college. We haven’t spoken in years. He bought the other house on my street. Surprised the shit out of me.”
“Quiet, kind of nervous guy, isn’t he?” Chase asked, and I grunted my reply.
“Wait,” Josh said. “So you had a friend in college you haven’t spoken to in years, and he bought the only other house on your street and neither of you knew it? That’s weird as fuck.”
Yeah, yeah it was. But somehow it didn’t surprise me. That was us.
I took a drink of my whiskey before signaling Griff to give me another. I wasn’t sure how to feel about all this. The universe dangled Remy in my face again, but he would leave again. He always did.
I could feel eyes on me, but one pair a bit different from the others. My gaze caught Kellan’s, who gave me a small smile. And yep, I could tell by the spark in his stare that he knew there was a story there with me and Remy. He was more perceptive than people gave him credit for.
I picked up the second whiskey and swallowed that down too.