Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
I just can’t face him.
I know, eventually, I’ll have to, because I can’t avoid him forever.
Right now, though, I just can’t.
The thoughts of what he and Harper are doing haunt me every night, and I know he’s probably with her by now.
Why wouldn’t he be?
She’s beautiful and perfect and I haven’t even given him a chance to come back.
My heart is blocked off, and when I get to that point, it’s hard for me to come back.
Not my best personality trait.
“I’m fine,” I answer Addison, offering her a fake smile. “I’m not that drunk and I’m allowed to go in. It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong.”
“I know that,” she agrees, “but it’s pretty full on in there and ... you know, you haven’t been with anyone else since Muff.”
Waving a hand, I shrug. “No time like the present.”
She glances at Serenity, who shakes her head.
She knows better than to get in my way.
If I want to come in here and fuck everyone in this club, that’s my right.
He’s probably doing the same.
The thought has my chest clenching and that all too familiar pain ripping through my body. The first thing I’m going to do when I get inside is find the bar. Whatever happens after that happens. It’s probably for the best, right? It’s time I moved on, and there is no better place to do it than this one.
I always wanted to come here with Muff, but I guess that isn’t how it worked out. Spike was the one who introduced us to this place, and every now and then, the girls take a night off and come here with their guys. It’s like a naughty little secret, and something that, eventually, I guess they won’t be able to do. Ciara couldn’t come, being pregnant and all, and she is not happy about it.
Instead, she is watching Addi and Serenity’s little girls, Ava and Skye, so they could have a night out.
We make our way through the line and finally get into the club. For those who don’t know, it just looks like a normal nightclub, but for those who do know that out the back there is an entirely different world happening. Only a select few are allowed in, and because Spike used to be one of their most frequent members, they let us through without hesitation.
To say it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen is an understatement.
There are couples everywhere, but also a lot of people on their own. Some of them are fully decked out as masters and slaves, others are just milling around, making out or talking. Down the hall, there are rooms that branch out, and each of them can be used for a different purpose. Some you can watch, some you can join in, some you can go and experience BDSM. There is something for everyone, literally.
Suddenly nervous, I break away from the group and go to the bar, ordering two shots. Swallowing them down, I let my eyes scan over the crowd. There are a good amount of people on this side of the club, but it isn’t packed. Probably due to the fact that only so many are allowed on this side.
“First time?”
Spinning toward the gravelly voice, I see a middle-aged man standing, a whiskey in his hand, the stark gold rings on his fingers glistening under the lights. He’s handsome, with cropped dark hair, the shadow of a beard, and white shirt and slacks. He looks like he’s just finished a day at work and has come here to unwind. Hell, he probably has.
“Am I that obvious?” I finally answer, offering a smile.
He chuckles. “You look stunned. New people always do. I’m Raithe.”
Raithe. What a unique name.
I take his outstretched hand. “Janine.”
“Tell me—” he waves a hand to the bartender “—what brings you here tonight, Janine?”
“I’m a good girl,” I tell him, because it’s the honest truth. “At least, according to ... someone I cared about. I don’t know how to let my hair down, be wild and spontaneous. I thought I’d see if I had it in me.”
“So you came to a sex club?”
I laugh because that does sound absurd.
Still, part of me can’t seem to get over what Muff said about me not knowing how to be wild and free. He’s right, I always live my life wound up so tight and I don’t know how to be any different. I want to have fun, have experiences, be something other than just Janine.
“Might as well go all in,” I answer and take a sip of the drink he slides me.
“Well, what is it you’re hoping to get out of the evening?”
That, I don’t know.
“Well, I haven’t decided yet.”
Watching Serenity and Jackson, I can’t help but think about the fact that she slept with both him and Muff at one point. I’ve always been curious as to what that would have been like, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it, or even ask for it. Muff is adventurous, I know that, and I never took those steps with him.