Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 156029 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 780(@200wpm)___ 624(@250wpm)___ 520(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 156029 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 780(@200wpm)___ 624(@250wpm)___ 520(@300wpm)
It’s Heaven and Hell all rolled into one.
Image after image, I see her smiling beautiful face staring back at me.
It’s almost like I can feel her arms around me. I remember back to when we first met and the way my heart began to beat faster whenever she looked at me. The way my stomach would flutter at her smile…
Her kiss… her perfect kiss.
I exhale heavily and pinch the bridge of my nose. I’ve had some bad birthdays in my life but this one takes the biscuit.
I haven’t left the villa all day, convinced if I did that she would come while I was out. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m destined to have the people I care about walk away from my life.
My mind goes back to a time when I would be feeling just like this—alone in my bedroom, waiting for him to call me on my birthday. Waiting for him to extend an olive branch, and desperate for the smallest sign that he did, in fact, love me like my friends’ fathers loved them.
I drag my hand down my face. This is fucked.
And then the doorbell of the villa rings out.
The doorbell? What?
She’s here.
I stand and run to the front door, opening it in a rush. But it’s Wyatt who stands before me, not Charlotte.
“Hi.” I look past him. “Where is she?”
Sympathy flares in his eyes. “Charlotte asked me to bring you this.” He holds out a sealed cream envelope. I read my name written on the front in her fancy handwriting.
My eyes search his. “Where is she?” I whisper, pushing it past the lump in my throat.
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, man, she isn’t here. She wanted me to hand deliver you this.”
I don’t remember closing the door, getting back to my place by the fire, or opening the letter.
I hold it in shaky hands.
My beautiful Spencer.
Happy birthday, my darling.
I wish I could be with you today to celebrate.
I frown and close it back up. I can’t do it. I can’t read this fucking letter. I don’t want this fucking letter.
I want her.
Somehow, I force myself to read on.
I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve suffered over the last two weeks.
Please forgive me, my love.
Inflicting this on you is something that I will never recover from.
We meet people at certain times of our lives for reasons unknown.
But I know exactly why I met you.
You taught me how to love, and how to be loved in the most beautiful way.
I cannot thank you enough for all of the times that we have shared.
However…
“No.” My heart begins to race and I skim ahead on the letter. “No, Charlotte.” My eyes fill with tears. “Don’t you fucking do this to me,” I whisper angrily. “Don’t you dare fucking do this to me.”
No matter how hard I try,
I cannot move past your relationship with Penelope.
It kills me that I can’t be a bigger person,
and I can barely see what I’m writing through my tears right now.
My heart is completely broken, and it will never recover.
It’s not fair for you to be with me when
my love for you is tainted this way.
You deserve better.
Not all love stories have a happy ending, my darling.
Some are beautiful, some are fearsome, and some are tragic,
Our love story is all of those things,
I’m letting you go, Spence.
You will always be the love of my life,
the man who taught me who I really was.
My soul mate and my everything.
Please remember me with love,
sweetheart, and with time, I know you will understand.
Love should never be tainted, especially not one as beautiful as ours.
I love you.
Dream catch me when I fall.
I screw up the letter and stare at the flames of the fire.
Dream catch me when I fall.
For some sick fucked up reason I need to hear it. I need to hear our song one more time. I flick through Spotify and hit play.
I sit and stare at the fire as the tantric beat of the song plays all around me, and I listen on as the lyrics tear open the last pieces of my heart.
She doesn’t love me enough.
I throw her letter into the flames and watch it slowly burn as the melody comes to an end.
Dream catch me when I fall.
Or else I won’t come back at all.
I dig in my pocket and take out the engagement ring that I bought her. All I can do is stare at it.
I had so much hope and so many dreams for us when I picked it.
Cheers erupt in the distance, and I look up to see the fireworks going off over the water.
It’s midnight—the end of one year, the beginning of another. A celebration for most.
The end of the world for me.
I walk to the balcony’s edge, and I stare at the diamond ring through tears. The lump in my throat is painful.