Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“I love you.”
Just three words but I hoped she felt their power.
She searched my eyes as if trying to satisfy herself that what I said was true.
“I know you think my feelings aren’t as strong as yours,” I said. “But I love you. I want you. I never want to let you go.”
She sighed and closed her eyes. I knew she was scared.
“You’re not going to repeat history and I won’t let you lose yourself. In me. In work. In anything. I’m going to be the man pulling you back to the surface.”
She opened her eyes and squeezed my hand. “The words are easy to say.”
“It’s not just words,” I said, nodding to the door where I’d left my case. “I want us to live together. Be together. We can get married next month if you want. Or let’s wait a while and plan something spectacular.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You brought your case so you can move in to my flat in Borehamwood?”
“Absolutely.”
“Now I know you’re kidding. There’s no way—”
“Don’t you see? I’ll do anything it takes to be with you.” I paused—I was committed to complete honesty. “Although, I can’t lie. I’d much prefer you to come back with me to Park Lane.”
She laughed. “You really want us to move in together?”
“I told you, I want it all.”
Her smile was all the more adorable because she was trying to hide it. “Park Lane is nicer, there’s no denying it. But I don’t want to live in a hotel.”
I chuckled. “Then we’ll find another flat. Or a house. I don’t care where I am as long as I’m with you.”
She shook her head. “We’re both going to turn off our forcefields and really do this?”
“Mine’s off. And I’m ready.” I’d never been surer about anything.
“And living together? You really want us to dive into the deep end?”
“I wanna dive so deep, I’m going to need medical attention,” I replied.
“Then I’m just the girl you’ve been looking for.”
Thirty-Nine
Joshua
I glanced out the tiny windows in Hartford’s tiny flat to see if we were being watched. Of course we were—it was practically inevitable with buildings here so close together. I eased Hartford off my lap and crossed the room to close the thin curtains. “The neighbors shouldn’t see what I’m about to do to you.”
“I’m nervous,” she said, transferring her weight from one leg to the other.
“Hey, we’re in Borehamwood. Of course you’re nervous.”
She smiled and shook her head as I snaked an arm around her waist.
“I’m serious,” she said. “Before it was . . . What happens if this time isn’t . . . you know?”
“You’re nervous that sex with me is going to be disappointing now we’ve discussed our feelings?” I said, dipping to place a kiss at the bottom of her neck.
She laughed. “Yeah. And I’m nervous that you’ll be disappointed with me too.”
I pulled back to make sure I heard her right. “Hartford, you could never disappoint me.”
She exhaled another nervous laugh, but the worry in her eyes was far from funny.
“I’m serious.” I cupped her face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers.
She sighed and inched closer to me. Thank God.
“Maybe it was so good because of the feelings that came with it?” she spluttered as I got to work undoing the buttons on her blouse. “Did we even have feelings at that point? I mean, my forcefield was seriously faulty. I don’t know about you but perhaps that’s what made it different. Or maybe it was—”
“Hartford.”
She stopped and looked up at me.
“Shall we focus on actually having sex? And then if we’re both desperately disappointed afterward, we can discuss it, do a full compare and contrast. Run a Monte Carlo simulation. Maybe even video it next time to see what we’re doing wrong. But let’s not doom it to over-analysis until there’s a problem. Agreed?”
“You can run a Monte Carlo simulation on sexual performance?” Her forehead furrowed like she was working through what that would look like.
“I’m sure it’s possible.”
She sighed. “Maybe I need a drink. Like a tequila or something. I mean—”
“Hartford. Stop. Seriously. This is you and me. There’s nothing to be nervous about. It’s just you and me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. When I came here today, I couldn’t let myself think that you would reject me because I don’t know what my life looks like without you in it anymore. And I don’t want to know. I want to spend all my days with you. I love to talk with you. I love to eat cake with you. And making love with you is as good as life gets.”
She tilted her head to one side. “I feel the same.”
“I’m glad.”
She hooked her finger into the front of my shirt and opened a button. “And it’s just Joshua and Hartford, right?”