Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 141251 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 706(@200wpm)___ 565(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141251 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 706(@200wpm)___ 565(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
“You’re in my room. You get out!” I scream.
His eyes hold mine, and I can see that the comment about his wife hurt him. Regret fills me. “Julian, childhood is supposed to be filled with mess and love and laughter.” We stand in silence for a moment. “I just don’t want you to look back one day and wonder why you’re not close with your children.”
“I love my children. More than anything, I love my children,” he replies sadly.
“I know you do.”
“Well, what are you saying then?”
“I’m saying that you need to learn to give yourself to them.”
“I do. I give them my all!” he cries.
“You give them stability. They need compassion and understanding. They need you to be their friend, too.”
His eyes narrow and fall to my underwear on the bed. “And what about last night? I was just trying to protect you from gossip.”
“I don’t need protecting. Like your children, I want compassion and understanding.”
He shakes his head, pausing for a moment. “Before we went out… when we were here…” His voice trails off.
“When we were here, what?”
His eyes rise to meet mine. “You threw me.”
I frown. “Threw you?”
He runs both of his hands through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know. You just did.” His eyes rise to meet mine. “I was genuinely excited to be going out with you…”
“What’s wrong with that?”
He shrugs. “I don’t do normal relationships, Bree. I have no fucking idea what’s going on between us.” He throws his hands in the air. “I’m fucking confused, okay?”
“Julian,” I sigh.
He grabs my hand. “Don’t go out tonight. Stay here with me.”
I exhale heavily and he puts his arms around me to pull me close. “I just…” He hesitates. “I just.” He stops himself talking again.
I pull out of his arms. “Julian, I get that you don’t want a relationship. I get that we have no future. But I will never understand the way you made me feel last night. I would never treat a friend like that.”
His face falls.
“You need to get your shit together. I can’t be in a friends with benefits set up if there isn’t even a friendship.”
“Bree.” He goes to grab me again, but I pull away from him. “Don’t Bree me.”
His eyes search mine. “Are you really going out with someone else tonight?”
“Yes.”
His jaw clenches in anger. “Consider us done if you do.”
I smirk and shake my head in disbelief. “You ended us last night, Jules. Don’t put this back on me.”
He drops his head and stares at the floor.
“Can you get out, please?” I ask. “I want to get ready.”
He turns and walks out, and I watch the door close behind him.
Regret curls deep in my stomach
That feels unexpectedly final.
Chapter Sixteen
Julian
I sit at the table and rub my fingers over my forehead, back and forth.
Stop her from going out. Go in there and apologize.
I’m hot, I feel sick.
Make her stay.
I close my eyes and blow out a heavy breath, swallowing the lump in my throat. An unfamiliar feeling of regret swirls in my chest.
If she wants to go out with someone else, that’s her business. I don’t do monogamy. So what’s with this sick fucking feeling I get from even thinking about her going out with another man?
Stop it.
I get up to pour myself a scotch, and then I sit back at the table and take a sip. Maybe she won’t go.
Her words run through my mind on repeat. “I don’t need protecting. Like your children, I want compassion and understanding.”
I give my children compassion. I give up my whole fucking life for my children. Who is she to throw the blame on me when she knows nothing about our situation?
I take a large gulp of my scotch when she walks out with her overnight bag in her arms.
Tell her not to go.
I press my lips together so that I don’t beg her out loud. I sip my scotch again with my leg bouncing underneath the table.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you’re drinking scotch at 10:30 a.m.” She stands and watches me for a moment. “I didn’t mean it to sound like I think you’re a bad father.” She hesitates. “That’s not how I meant it.”
“That’s how it sounded.”
She takes a seat at the table opposite me. “Julian.”
I stare at my glass on the table.
“Will you look at me?”
I drag my eyes up to hers.
“I know you don’t want a relationship.”
I clench my jaw.
“I don’t know how you think this is going to go between us, but you upset me last night. You really hurt my feelings and it surprised me because I wasn’t expecting it. I was completely blown over, both by how you treated me, and how it felt.”
My stomach twists.
"And it's not a good sign for me to feel hurt by you when we aren't even in a relationship."