Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 141251 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 706(@200wpm)___ 565(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141251 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 706(@200wpm)___ 565(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
“You’ve stopped putting any effort in.” She folds her arms across her chest.
“Because you put enough effort in for the both of us. Don’t start this shit now, I’m not in the fucking mood,” I groan.
“Not in the fucking mood?” she hisses, clearly pissed off. “You know I’m monogamous to you. You know you’re the only man I see. Don’t treat me like a fool.”
I bite my bottom lip, forcing my eyes to stay on the road.
She watches me for a moment. “It’s because of what I said the last time we were together, isn’t it?”
I clench my jaw and remain silent.
“I told you I love you and this is how you act.” “And that is my precise problem,” I yell, losing control. “I told you I don’t want a relationship.” I glare at her. “You knew. You fucking knew! And then you go and tell me you love me. You lost me with those three words.”
“What is so bad about being in a relationship, Julian?”
“It’s not who I am. I want a friendship with a woman who I care about.”
“But if you don’t see other women, why not call it a relationship.”
“Because I don’t want to. I don’t want the expectation of what’s coming next. I don’t want to be in love. I don’t want anyone to be in love with me.”
She watches the road, her face like stone, and we stay silent for a while.
Guilt suddenly fills me and I reach over to grab her hand. “Let’s just leave it.”
Her face falls. “You don’t want to see me anymore?”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” She begins to panic. “We’ll just go back to being casual.” I exhale heavily and lift her hand to kiss the back of it softly. “I can’t continue to see you knowing that you love me when I don’t feel the same.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and she drops her head.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Her tears begin to fall, and she cries quietly for the rest of the trip until I pull into her driveway.
We sit in silence for a moment. I feel like absolute shit knowing I’ve hurt her.
I’ve felt this feeling many times before. They all fall in love with me. I always leave them when they do.
“Why?” she whispers as her eyes search mine. “Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head. “Angel, no.” I pull her into an embrace. “It’s me. I’m. I…”
“You’re what?”
“I’m not wired like most.”
“What do you mean?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, but at times like this, it’s difficult.”
“Have you done this before?”
I nod with regret.
She leans over, kissing me softly, and our lips linger over each others.
“Can’t we work this out?” she whispers. “I’ll be patient and I won’t push you. I promise.”
I smile as I look down at her. She really is beautiful. I brush the hair back from her face. “No. I’m going to free you up for a man who can really love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
Her eyes crease together and more tears fall. “But I’m in love with you.”
I kiss her once more before I open my door and climb out. I go around and open her car door, holding her hand to help her climb out. She clings to me one last time, her pain palpable.
“Julian, please? Please, don’t go. Come inside.”
“Stop,” I whisper as I wipe the tears from her eyes. “I’m going to say goodbye and you are going to walk inside and never think about me again.”
The tears stream down her face.
“Okay?” I whisper as I hold her two cheeks in my hands.
She nods.
I kiss her one last time. “You’re an amazing woman. Go and find a man who deserves your love.”
She smiles, despite her tears, and we squeeze each other’s hand one last time. When she turns to leave, I put my hands into my trouser pockets and I watch her walk to her front door. She turns back and waves sadly. I smile and wave goodbye.
She opens the door and disappears inside
I turn and get into my car, and before I know it, I‘m opening up my front door. The house is dark, lit only by the kitchen light, and I lie on the living room floor, staring up at the ceiling.
Why am I like this?
What’s wrong with me?
Brielle
It’s 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday morning, and I’m sitting outside the principle’s office as I wait for our scheduled meeting about Willow. He couldn’t see me before now. I don’t know what the hell he does that is so important, but I intend to find out.
I’m already furious because of my stupid twat of a boss. He came home not long after me, so I’m not sure what happened on his date.
Either way, I’m off him.
This principle better not mess with me in here or he will meet his maker. My leg bounces up and down as I wait. After speaking with Willow in depth this morning, I now know that it’s a group of six girls who are picking on her. They pick on everyone, apparently. Willow’s best friend moved schools about