Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 52100 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 261(@200wpm)___ 208(@250wpm)___ 174(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52100 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 261(@200wpm)___ 208(@250wpm)___ 174(@300wpm)
“Last night was incredible,” he said, kissing each of my cheeks, my forehead and the tip of my nose before brushing his lips over mine.
His warmth and affection made my guilt slip away. “It was.”
He rested his forehead against mine. “I wish I could spend the whole day with you.”
“Me too.”
I smiled as he kissed my jawline, making his way down to my neck. His neck kisses gave me goose bumps every time. I wanted more, not just of the kissing, but of him.
More than he could give me.
“This is hard,” I said softly.
He sighed and held me close. “I know.”
I wasn’t going to cry. I made myself hold back my tears because I knew the deal before I spent the night with him.
One night. He couldn’t promise me more than that. I gently pushed myself away from him and forced a smile.
“I’m just going to change shirts real quick and get my shoes on so I can go in to work once I get my car.”
“On a Sunday?”
I laughed lightly. “People be wanting to eat on Sundays, too.”
“Why don’t you show up at Tipper’s right after me? Then you can join us for breakfast.”
It was a nice offer, but it made me feel weird. I couldn’t pretend I just happened to be there at the same time, planning to eat breakfast alone until I saw Holt and his family. His parents would see right through that.
“I need to go to work,” I said, walking toward my bathroom. “Just give me five minutes to get ready.”
Once we were in his truck on the way to The Barn, he gave me a concerned look. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
That was mostly true. I didn’t regret last night, but I hadn’t expected to feel so weird about things this morning. Holt and I had now checked every box he was able to check: dinner out, a weekend with heavy flirting at a cabin and a hot postwedding night of sex.
What was left?
“Did I look better after several glasses of champagne than I do this morning?” he teased.
He actually looked better to me this morning with his messy hair and rumpled dress shirt. It felt intimate, a snapshot of a moment I’d always treasure.
“You look great as always,” I said as I looked out the passenger window at the houses we passed.
“Talk to me, Shea.” He reached over and put a hand on my knee. “What’s wrong?”
I shrugged. “I’m okay, really. Probably just tired.”
“I wish I didn’t have to leave first thing, but I promised the kids I’d be there for breakfast.”
I looked over at him. “Hey, you don’t need to apologize. We both knew the deal going in.”
He furrowed his brow. “Yeah, but...that wasn’t a one-night stand.”
I covered his hand with my own, speaking out loud the things I couldn’t seem to get straight in my own mind.
“I like you a lot, but I don’t want to be any man’s secret lover. I wish you were at a point where you’re ready for a relationship, but”
“I’m ready. I just don’t want my kids to feel insecure.”
“And I get that and I respect it. I want to be your friend, and I want to be a friend to your kids. But this is a small town, and if we try to see each other and keep it from your kids, it will come back to bite us in the ass. They’ll hear about it. I don’t want that.”
He stared out the windshield, his jaw set in a tense line. “I don’t want to lose you. Not to Keller or any other man.”
We’d arrived at The Barn and he pulled up next to my car, putting his truck in park.
“Look,” I said, turning to face him. “I don’t know what the future holds. I’ve decided to tell Keller that if he needs an answer immediately on the job offer, the answer is no. I need more time to explore my options. I’ve been thinking about what you said about there being more than just two job choices for me. I don’t have the bandwidth to start my own restaurant because that would take as much time or more than The Moose takes now. But I’m thinking. And while I think, I’m staying in the Beard.” I took his hand and squeezed it. “So be my friend. Move into your new house and get going with your new job. Let’s see where things stand in a few months.”
He nodded, his expression forlorn.
“So you’re still considering working for Keller?”
I shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know. I never thought I’d work anywhere but The Moose, so I’m trying to take my time thinking things through.”
“Okay.”
“Hey,” I said softly. “Last night was amazing. Let’s not feel like we need an answer for every question right now.”
He cupped my cheek in his palm and we both leaned in, meeting in the middle for a kiss. I didn’t know if I was feeling my own longing not to get out of the truck and leave or his longing for me to stay. But, like all good things, our magical night together had to come to an end.