Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 91058 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91058 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
He toys with the handle on his coffee mug. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Is it the time thing? Like I said, I understand how you might have felt like you weren’t—”
“No, Scarlett. Jesus, just…I don’t feel like we mesh well together.”
“What?”
I resist the urge to add, Speak up. He’s talking so meekly. His shoulders are slumped and he’s leaned forward so that his mouth is aimed at his legs, not at me.
“Yeah. I mean, it’s—”
“It’s what?” I prod impatiently. “Just say it.”
“I feel like we’re not compatible.” He looks up, resigned now. “That way, you know? I mean god, I hate to say it like this. I feel like a complete ass, but sometimes it just felt a little—”
“What?”
“Boring. In bed.”
I freeze. Blink. Process. My anger drew the words from his lips, and I can tell he regrets them the second they’re out there, plunked down between us like a living, breathing thing.
I feel the color drain from my face.
Sex with me is boring.
He’s been bored.
I’m baffled enough that I don’t immediately do anything. I sit and I stare at him, trying to sort through this new font of insecurity he’s just dumped on my head. I’m boring in bed. Boring. BOREDOM.
“I…”
Nothing comes after the first word. I just let it dangle there before I start to scoot out of the booth in a trancelike state. I’m walking away before I realize I forgot my purse. I turn back and grab it, toss down a few dollars for my coffee and wasted breakfast, all while Jasper fumbles over his words, trying to reach out and take my hand. I won’t let him. He thinks I want him touching me?
“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, Scarlett. That’s not what this is about. I just, I’d want someone to tell me.”
Oh my god. He thinks he’s a hero! He thinks he’s doing a great act of service or something! “Someone had to tell her.”
I close my eyes to try to push my anger deep down inside me. If he keeps talking, if he keeps digging himself deeper into this hole, I truly will lose it.
“I get it, Jasper. Seriously. Say no more.”
“You can just be a little uptight.”
“Oh my god. SHUT UP.”
He could have just let me break up with him over a short stack. We could have cut into our hash browns and plowed through some crispy bacon like civilized adults, but now I have about thirty years of therapy I need to be getting to, so if you’ll excuse me…
“Scarlett,” he pleads as I walk away. He’s delusional if he thinks I’m turning back.
God, all the things I could have offloaded onto him but didn’t. Every little annoying thing I buried for the sake of our relationship comes pouring in now that I’ve opened the floodgates. It’s all there, at the forefront of my mind.
He never made me laugh. In fact, his personality kind of sucked. I was willing to dress him up with words like “kind” and “nice” and “respectful”, but in reality, he was barely any of those things. He was just quiet, which can sometimes be confused for other, better qualities.
His relationship with his mom is weird. They talk multiple times a day. About what?! Why do you need to chat with your mommy that much, you adult man-child?!
And his fucking hair. Guess what? It’s receding. Yeah. He’s going full-on Prince William, and I would have never ever made him feel bad about that or even CARED, but Mr. BALDING MAN, you don’t get to call me BORING IN THE BEDROOM while you have a literal crop circle on the top of your skull that I had to look at the ONE time you went down on me in our entire relationship.
Oh my god. He and I were never going to work long-term. He wants to marry Annette Jr, a dutiful wife whose life goal is to wait on him hand and foot, who’s ready to pop out children and roll through the carpool line and play tennis at the club and Mahjong her day away. He masked it well, of course. He made it seem like he was worried about me surviving at Elwood Hoyt every time he suggested I rethink my career decisions, but really, it was always about him and his needs.
I hate that I wasted a year on him, but then, that’s how it goes.
Live and learn.
Barrett is the first person I call on my way home, and he puts me on speakerphone with Nyles. I’m in a fog. Deep down I’m seething, but on the surface I’m oddly calm.
“I broke up with Jasper,” I tell them, wanting to rip the Band-Aid off as fast as possible.
Nyles’ response absolutely slays me. “Oh, sweetie, of course you did. You were never going to marry him. He’s blond.”