Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 64527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
That is, until I realized what I was actually talking about and shut the story down as quickly as I could.
It wasn’t enough to quell her curiosity, though.
“Patrick is your nephew, right?” she asked, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of learning more about me.
I shrugged, picking up the dishes from lunch and taking them over to the sink. “Not biologically. He’s the son of one of my friends in Nashville.”
“Must’ve been good friends if you made him skillet cookies every time he had a soccer game and a bad day and a birthday.”
“I guess.” I couldn’t tell her about Neil and about how he’d been the brother I’d never had. And about Jackie and what a mother hen she was, and how I was the first person they’d told when they found out they were going to have Pat.
“You guess?” I could hear the annoyance in her voice, and I knew I deserved it. It was the perfect opportunity to open up to her about everything.
I turned back to her, shrugging. “Pat’s dad was someone I worked with.”
“He was someone on the force?”
I gave her a curt nod.
“Does he have anything to do with you quitting?”
I swallowed and didn’t answer before I turned away from her and started to rinse off the plates.
I continued until I saw her hand reach around me, shutting off the water. “You know, you can talk to me,” she said softly. “I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”
Again, I didn’t answer as my hands tightened on the edge of the sink.
“Did he die? Is that what’s going on?” Her voice had gone so quiet that I could barely hear her.
I turned back to her and asked her, my voice tight and strangled, “Why are you asking these things?”
“Because I want to know about you. Just in case you hadn’t heard, that’s how it sometimes works when two people start sleeping together.”
I bit down on my lip, unable to say anything back to her. I knew she was right. I knew I needed to say something to her. I knew that the truth I’d been keeping inside me for the last few years about Neil was eating me alive.
She put her hand on mine and folded her fingers under. “Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can handle it.”
“But why would you want to?” I didn’t know where the words were coming from, and I knew they made me a dick, but I couldn’t help myself. “Why would you want to dive into my bullshit? It’s dark, and you’ve already been through enough.”
“One could say the same of you, with you diving into all of my bullshit despite all the shit you’ve been through.” She pulled her hand away from mine and marched away, folding her arms over her chest and looking at me, frustrated. “Oh wait, I can’t say the same. Why? Because you haven’t told me anything about the dark shit in your past. You’re just taking it for granted that I shouldn’t hear about it.”
I knew she was right, knew that she could handle whatever I had to tell her and that I could trust her if she said she could be told.
“This isn’t personal, Macy.”
“It sure as hell feels personal. What am I supposed to feel when you won’t tell me anything about yourself?”
“It’s not you. No one knows me, and I prefer it that way. I haven’t let anyone get close to me in years.”
“Neither have I, but I’m trying not to wall myself up because I know that if I do, I’ll never be the same again. So you’re going to spend the next sixty years embittered and alone until you die that way, is that it?”
But I just shook my head, looking away from her and turning on the sink again.
“Right.” She stepped away from me, heading for the hallway. “Well, you know where to find me if you change your mind. And since I can’t leave, you know I’ll be there for sure.”
The words dug into me, and I almost turned to her and asked her to wait… but then I heard the door shut behind her as she went into her room and knew that I just needed to let it lie for a while.
I pulled into the market in town, still feeling sick to my stomach over the argument that I’d just had with Macy and wishing that I’d just been able to talk to her.
I was a true idiot, and I would deserve it if she refused to talk to me after this.
I walked into the market, trying my best to shake off the uncertainty of the last hour, and started looking around. Except, I didn’t know what exactly I was there for. I only knew that I’d had to get out of the cabin, or the silence in there was going to drive me crazy now that there was an alternative.