Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79036 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79036 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
“Shit,” Rhett curses softly.
I turn and walk toward the stairs. I almost make it out of the room when Morgan says, “Dust?”
I groan, not wanting to do this here. Not wanting to do it ever, but the anger inside me is growing too, the heat of it getting hotter and hotter until it’s burning me up. “You knew, Morgan. Don’t pretend otherwise. I deserve better than that.”
I take a step again, needing to get away from them, when Morgan’s words stop me. “I love you too. I’ve always loved you too, but I tried not to, told myself I didn’t, couldn’t because if I admitted it, I couldn’t leave…and I can’t stay here.”
I turn to him, watch him watch me, the brown of his eyes, laser focused. In my periphery, I see Rhett looking at him too.
“Don’t fuck with me, Morgan.”
He flinches, clearly hurt by my words. “I’m not. Do you really think I would do that?”
No, I don’t. Morgan is a lot of things. He’s flawed and imperfect, but he’s not the type to throw the word love around if he doesn’t feel it. He’s not the type to let someone in that way, because what Rhett will never see is how afraid of being hurt Morgan is…and Morgan refuses to see that Rhett is exactly the same.
“I don’t know how to be what you need, what you deserve. Rhett’s right. I’ll fuck it up, and the thought of hurting you again is like acid eating through my heart. But after last night, hell, after the first time I saw you again after ten damn years, I knew everything was going to change. You open me up like no one else can, and I’m not strong enough to fight it anymore.”
A wave of dizziness overtakes me, my heart thudding, my ears echoing, everything feeling far away.
Before I can work through any kind of response, a door opens and Gregory grits out, “What…the hell…is going on here.”
Rhett snaps into action, heading toward Gregory. “Nothing, Dad. Everything is fine.”
Gregory enters the kitchen, his eyes snagging on me first. I’m shirtless, in nothing but jeans, so there’s no doubt I stayed the night. “Why…are you here?” Gregory has never been my biggest fan. He’s always thought Morgan should have a better friend than me, someone more like them.
“He’s here because I invited him,” Morgan says at the same time as Rhett’s, “Dad…”
“Always sniffing around…one of my sons.”
Well, that’s new. He used to at least keep his dislike of me to himself.
“You talk about him like that again, and I’ll walk out of this house and you’ll never see me again.” Morgan’s voice is low with warning.
“What’s new?” Gregory says.
“Dad. That’s enough.” I’m surprised it’s Rhett who spoke up. He so rarely does against his father, and he usually agrees with him where Morgan is concerned. “Come on. Let’s go to your office.” Rhett tries to wrap an arm around him, but Gregory shakes him off.
“Don’t need…your help. You don’t ever leave…me alone. I need a break from you!” he says in measured words. Gregory walks away, Rhett standing with his back to us, watching him.
“Rhett,” Morgan says softly, and I’m grateful for the concern in his voice. He knows what those words did to Rhett, and contrary to how they often act, Morgan doesn’t want to see his brother hurt.
“Leave me alone. The two of you enjoy whatever the fuck it is you’re doing.” Rhett walks out, slamming the door behind him.
“We are so fucked up.” Morgan rubs a hand over his face.
“Yeah…you are.” I grin, and Morgan chuckles.
“I don’t know why you stick around.”
Because I love him. Because I love them all, but I’m in love with Morgan. “Let’s make some coffee and go outside. We need to talk.” If he thinks I can let go what he said to me, he’s wrong. We’re hashing this out now, even if we don’t come up with any answers.
Morgan doesn’t argue, grabbing two mugs while I get the creamer from the fridge. We doctor our cups, then head outside, straight for the dock. We sit on the edge, our feet hanging over. “I miss them.”
“I know you do.”
“If it wasn’t for you and East, I would have already left again. And now this…what’s happening with us. I don’t know how not to be with you anymore. I knew that would happen, and now it has, but I don’t know how to be here either. I can’t do it, not forever.”
The thing is, I don’t think Morgan hates Birchbark. I think the situation with his family has made him feel like he does, has colored his impression of this place he grew up exploring, but I also know that what I think about his feelings doesn’t matter. I’m not him, and only he knows what he wants.