Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79036 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79036 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
My body stiffens. “You think he’s cheating on you?”
“No. We’re open. And despite what people who aren’t in that lifestyle might think, it’s not cheating. We have friends in their sixties who have been together since they were twenty-five who are open and the strongest couple I’ve ever seen. They love fiercely. Sex is just different for them.”
The tightness in my chest doesn’t go away, but my body relaxes some. “I don’t think it’s cheating, and I have no problem with people living their lifestyle. To each their own. I just…” Couldn’t imagine having him and wanting anyone else. It’s not like I can say that, though. “I wouldn’t have thought that’s what you want.”
He shrugs. “I’ve never done it with anyone except Rob, and honestly, I don’t play as much as he does. Most of the time, I only do it when it’s him and me with other men. The point is, he wouldn’t care that I’m in bed with you, even if we weren’t just friends.”
Because we are…just friends. Still, I’m trying to wrap my head around the guy who fought his brother because we kissed, being okay with his boyfriend fucking other men, being with him when he fucked other men.
Red flashes in my vision. He’s not even mine, and the thought makes me want to rage.
I guess the difference is, Rob has never kissed Rhett.
I’ll never forgive myself for that.
“I know you don’t understand it,” he says, breaking through my thoughts. “But like I said before, the way things are with Rob…that works for me.”
“Being open is one thing, but that doesn’t excuse not asking how you are. You have a whole fucking world of pain to deal with here, so much past and loss. I can’t excuse him for not making sure you’re okay.”
Silence bears down on us. The longer it goes, the more it squeezes my lungs, crushes my chest, makes me wonder if I said too much, until finally, Morgan speaks. “He doesn’t know, Dust. None of it. Not about Mom or Ella or Easton. Not the specifics about Dad or Rhett or…you.”
The stiffness sets into my bones again. “None of it?”
“No one does.”
I roll toward him, but Morgan stays on his back, looking up. “You haven’t let anyone in? Not for all these years? You’re so fucking stubborn. You can’t hold all that in. You’re going to lose it one day, Morgan. You’re gonna reach a point when you can’t hold back anymore, and you’re gonna explode. Goddamn fucking Swifts.” I want to kill them all but especially the man turning his head to look at me right now.
My body is shaking. I feel like I’m going to be the one to explode, to burst right out of my skin because there’s too much hurt inside this man, and if he doesn’t work through it, it’s going to eat him alive.
“I fucking hate your boyfriend. I don’t care if I shouldn’t blame him, and Jesus, Morgan, if you don’t start working through—” His hand wraps around the back of my head, tugging me down until my lips meet his.
I freeze at first, unable to make all the pieces fit together, unable to tell if this is really happening, but then Morgan’s tongue flicks at my lips, and it’s like a key, making them open for him. He sneaks inside, tastes me, tangles his fingers in my hair, sweeps his tongue from one side of my mouth to the other. I’m surrounded by his scent—amber and musk—finally, finally knowing his taste—mint and Morgan.
My brain hasn’t caught up, is short-circuiting too much to remind me this is a bad idea. That this will ruin things. That nothing will come of it except me getting hurt.
Morgan doesn’t want me right now; he wants someone, anyone, wants to feel something other than all the heartbreak that Birchbark gives him.
That thought is the spark that electrocutes my brain and makes me pull back. “What are you doing, Morgan?”
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
I must be the strongest man in the world because I pull back even farther. But if he doesn’t know, that sure as shit means it’s because he doesn’t want me.
“I can’t kiss you just because I’m here and you don’t have anyone better. If and when you ever kiss me again, it needs to be because you want me. Not just someone, or not because I’m the only person there. But because you want me.”
Morgan’s forehead wrinkles, his eyes cloudy and confused. “You don’t think I’m attracted to you? It almost killed me not to jump you in your shop before we left, and I spent the first twenty minutes in the shower jerking off to you. If you don’t think I’ve always been attracted to you, then you’re wrong, Dust.”