Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
He nods. “How’s your…Sir…doing with it?”
I sigh, feeling the emotion of our situation weighing heavily on me. “That’s the hardest part. I can tell it’s eating him up inside. He’s quieter than usual. I’ll notice him spacing off and sort of disconnecting—not in a way that makes me feel like it’s because of me, just that he’s struggling—but he doesn’t talk about it. He loves my dad so much. We’re the only family Marshall has, so now I’m the only family he has.” And Jesus, I hope I’m enough. What if he one day regrets choosing me?
“Fuck…that’s hard. But he loves you…he wants you. I hope you’re not doubting that you’re enough.”
I’m not…but I am. It’s all so fucking confusing. Sometimes I wish feelings and situations could all be yes or no, left or right, black or white, but they rarely are. Life is too nuanced for our emotions not to be. “I know he loves me, and that’s what I’m focusing on right now.”
“That’s really all you can do.” He lays his head on my shoulder and kisses my neck. It could be a friendly thing, yes, but I can’t deny it makes a little action go on beneath my pants. Love doesn’t stop attraction. Still, Marshall and I have rules in place for this.
“So…I don’t know if that’s a sorry-about-your-life kiss or a wanna-get-off-together-bestie kiss, but as I mentioned before, I can’t hook up with you without asking Sir first.”
Reggie laughs and pulls back. “Well, it was just a sorry-about-your-life kiss, but now I wanna get off. Cool to know he’s not the jealous type. I know you’re all in love and shit now, though…so what are your thoughts on that? Not just with us.”
I shrug. “I don’t think sex has to mean what a lot of people say it does. The emotion behind it is what matters. I don’t know that I’m the right person for an open relationship, but I wouldn’t be against Marshall and I playing with someone else sometimes. Being with the other person would be about the act. Being with Marshall is about the love. There are really toxic relationships out there, people being horrible to each other, yet the two of us making this decision together is somehow wrong?”
He laughs. “Wow. You have strong feels about that.”
And I realize I do. Again, I’m not sure what I want out of our relationship, but whatever is right for Marshall and me, it doesn’t mean we love each other less than someone who would make a different choice.
“It’s not something I considered until this moment, but yeah, I guess so. Anyway…hooking up with you is fun, but I’m not in love with you.”
“I’m not in love with you either, and your boyfriend is hot, so I’d be down if you’re curious.” He winks, gets up, and heads to his bedroom, and I’m pretty sure there’s an extra shake in Reggie’s ass while he goes.
*
I keep checking the dining room all day for Marshall, though I know he won’t be coming until sometime after work. This will be the first time he’ll be here since he said he would try to make it at least once a week. It means so much to me that this is something he’s going to do—come to the restaurant I enjoy so much, just because I mean that much to him. He sees what’s important to me and wants to be a part of it.
“Hey, Mister Daydreamer. Someone is here to see you.” Reggie nods toward one of the tables in my section, my heart rate immediately picking up when I see Marshall. “God, you’ve got it bad. I feel the love pouring off you. Gross,” my friend teases before disappearing with plates toward one of his tables.
I head straight to Marshall. “Good evening, Sir.”
“It is now,” Marshall counters, and while yes, it’s cheesy as fuck, it makes me melt.
“That was terrible.”
“That made you swoon…and is maybe getting your dick hard,” he says softly, and damn if he’s not right. “Do you think you could sneak to the bathroom for a few minutes? Take a break? I have a surprise for you.”
I check the time. “Actually, I’m up for a break in a few minutes.”
He nods. “I’d like a glass of wine—your choice. Make it something that will go well with whatever I’m eating tonight because you’re going to pick that too. Whatever you think your Sir would like. Something special. I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”
My stomach feels jittery. Yes, I’m excited for whatever he has in store for me, but I also love the idea of being able to feed him—picking something from the menu for this man who means the world to me. Marshall giving me that responsibility is the best kind of high.
“Yes, Sir,” I say, the dancing butterflies in my belly still flittering around.