Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
We laugh together.
“He’s not old.” As soon as I say it, I realize he’s never told me his age. What if I’m being catfished and none of this is what I’m hoping it could be?
CHAPTER EIGHT
Marshall
“How are you settling in?” John asks when we meet for lunch. I considered asking him to go to JT’s restaurant but decided against it. It isn’t my place to get into the middle of their relationship. John and I have too much history between us, for me to suddenly start meddling in his relationship with his son. Not only that, but no matter how appreciative JT was to see me there a month ago, that doesn’t mean showing up with John would be a good idea. Would JT assume John only went because of me?
“I’m settling in just fine,” I reply.
“Do you like the people you work with? Gotten to know any of them? You have a habit of losing yourself in work and not much else. You should meet friends, Marsh…just as long as none of them take my place.”
I chuckle. I can’t say he’s wrong, and he mentions these things only because he cares so much. It’s not as if I’m a loner or a total introvert. I’ve had friends. I go do things, but probably not as much as most people, and letting people in is difficult for me. Surface relationships and having random people to go out with works much better for me than trying to build what I have with John with anyone else.
I open my mouth to reply, but then I think about CravingMore and stop myself. What would John think if I told him that not only have I been spending my evenings talking to a twenty-five-year-old sub online, but that I look forward to it more than anything I can remember in a long time? That I don’t know what he looks like or the sound of his voice or the color of his eyes, but I enjoy flirting with him, teasing him, snagging quiet pieces of who he is from the conversations we have.
Somehow, I don’t think that’s what John is talking about. “No one could ever take your place, John. You’re my brother.”
“That’s how you better answer.” He winks. “But you still need other friends. I want you to love being home. I want you to be happy.”
It’s such a John thing to say. He does want people’s happiness. He cares about others, almost too much sometimes. What he doesn’t get is that our ideas of happiness aren’t always the same as his. That doesn’t mean we’ve failed or are lonely or doing something wrong. We’re all built differently. And he’s not a bad person, just one who doesn’t know how or where to direct the love he feels for those in his life.
“I’m happy,” I tell him, but I leave out the part that I’m intrigued by a man who is barely older than his son. It shouldn’t matter, but I’m not sure how John would react to that. Hell, I don’t know how I feel about it myself.
“Good. That’s the most important thing. I know I can come across as difficult sometimes. I don’t try to be. I just…”
“I know,” I assure him.
“Callie always tells me I need to stop trying to fix everyone’s lives. I appreciate that you understand me. It’s like I always have to be focused on something.”
I’ve seen that throughout our whole lives, and while it’s not always easy to deal with, I respect that quality in him. “Hey, remember that time you had to make the perfect bottle rocket in science and set your kitchen on fire?”
John barks out a laugh. “Oh God. My mom was going to kill me. You calmed her down by reminding her it was all in the name of getting an A.”
“That was nice of me,” I tease.
“God, I’m lucky to have you.”
Our conversation continues with simpler topics after that—some work they want to do around the house, colors Callie wants to paint, their work and day-to-day lives. She’s a teacher, so she’s off for the summer, and this is the time they work on the house. We’re almost finished eating when I can’t stop myself from asking, “How’s JT?” Something about that barbecue, coupled with going to his restaurant, has kept him in my thoughts more than usual.
“He’s doing the same. Hasn’t been around as much. I just…don’t know how to reach him sometimes.”
I frown. “You don’t have to reach him. You just have to be there for him, support him and make sure he knows you love him.”
“He knows that. God, he has to know that. He’s our whole world. And I know it seems like I’m hard on him sometimes, but…you wouldn’t get it. You don’t have kids. I want what’s best for him.”