Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 59671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 298(@200wpm)___ 239(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 298(@200wpm)___ 239(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud.
Honestly.
He steps over Jameson so that he has one foot either side of his body and grabs his two arms and pulls them. “Ahh,” Jameson complains.
Jarden puts his foot between Jameson’s shoulder blades and really begins to pull his arms back.
“The fuck are you doing?” Jameson cries. “Arms don’t bend that way, I’m not a contortionist.
I watch on as they go through the moves and then Jarden instructs him to roll over onto his back. He picks up Jameson’s feet and brings them up over his shoulders until his toes touch the ground.
“Ahhh,” Jameson cries. “Are you trying to break me in fucking half?”
I do burst out laughing this time, I wish I had my phone so I could take a photo.
As they go through the moves, Jameson fights Jarden at every turn.
Until eventually it becomes too painful to watch, I’m taking a shower.
Jameson
Day three in hell.
I pace back and forth, unable to sit still. I’ve had healing sessions, I’ve had acupuncture, massages every day. Attempted yoga, had the shit stretched out of me every morning at the crack of dawn, I’ve had meditation…well, I judged the idiots who meditated. Not a drop of alcohol and I have a splitting fucking headache from caffeine and protein withdrawal.
You name it, I’ve done it.
And how do I feel?
Anxious, irritable, perspiring like a pig, and fuck this.
I’m a million times more wound up here than I ever have been at home.
I just need to leave.
“Jay, you’ve got another healing session,” Emily reminds me.
“I’m not going.” I shake my head, defeated. “I can’t do this, Em.”
“I know this is hard.”
“I just…I need to leave, babe. I’ve never felt so unhinged.”
Her eyes search mine as she cups my face in her hand. “I’m really enjoying it.”
“You stay.” I pull her into a hug. “I just can’t…. I’m leaving. I’ll wait for you in another hotel.”
“You’re detoxing.” A voice sounds from behind us.
We turn to see Master Chakrii.
“Your mind doesn’t know what to do,” he says calmly.
Jameson frowns.
“Coming off adrenaline is like coming off heroin. You are effectively a drug addict whose body is addicted to stress. As your mind declutters, your body goes into a panic, unsure of what to do.”
My jaw clenches as I stare at the master.
“You’re nearly through the worst of it, don’t give up now, you’ve come so far.”
“This isn’t working,” I reply softly.
I’ve never felt so defeated.
“It is, I promise you. Your body is purging pent-up stress. If you leave before you have gone through the process you will be right back where you left off.”
“How long do you think it will it take?” Emily asks.
“Another week.”
“A week?” I gasp. “I’ll be dead in another week here.”
Chakrii puts his hand on my shoulder. “Trust me, my friend. Trust the process. You need to stop fighting against it.”
Unexpected emotion fills my every cell and I get a lump in my throat; I know I need to get a handle on the way I live.
Emily deserves more than having a workaholic stressed-out husband, and I would give anything to be that for her…but this…my eyes flick between the two of them.
“Jay,” Emily says softly as she takes my hands in hers. “You can do this, baby, I know you can. We can do it together.”
I close my eyes; the truth is, I really don’t think I can.
I’m letting her down.
“I don’t know how to stop my mind,” I whisper.
“Then you learn,” Chakrii says. “You take it minute by minute, hour by hour.”
I stare at him as I listen.
“And then one day, something will let go.”
My sanity?
“Like what?” I ask.
“The pressure of expectation,” Chakrii replies.
I frown, it’s like he’s reading my mind.
“You are not the first corporate highflier we have had here; you will not be the last. The ones that leave early….” His voice trails off.
“What?” Emily asks. “What happens to the ones that leave early?”
“Some return, sometimes years later when they realize the truth.”
“What truth?” Emily asks.
“That there is no easy way, you have to push through the barriers that your thoughts have created for you.” He smiles wistfully. “To be able to control your mind is the greatest strength that one can have.”
Isn’t that the truth.
“So you need to make a decision, Jameson, right now. Are you going to go through life wondering what could have been?”
Emily takes my hand in hers and kisses my fingertips.
“Or are you going to tough it out and stay?” He pauses as if choosing his words wisely. “Twenty-one days could change the whole trajectory of your life, do you want to feel free?”
I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders…because it is. It feels like it always has been. My life is a gift, one that I want more than anything.