Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
I scoff and push up onto my elbow to meet those dark eyes. “And to think I was going out of my way to try and seduce you. It was driving me insane that you wouldn’t make a move. I wanted it so badly. Just one touch. I would have settled for a simple boob graze by the end, but you were always so careful. I was starting to wonder if you were even sexually attracted to me at all.”
His head snaps toward mine. “The fuck?”
I give him a blank stare. Surely he knows what I’m talking about. “You’re kidding me, right? You didn’t even notice?”
“Oh, I noticed, but I thought I was imagining it,” he tells me. “When I was eighteen and nineteen, all I could think about was touching you. It drove me wild with need. The need to taste you . . . fuck, Rae. I had to pull away because I didn’t want to do something you weren’t ready for.”
“You’re an idiot. I was so ready for it. I was practically begging you for it,” I tell him. “I don’t know how many different ways I could say, ‘Ezra, I need you to put a dick in me.’ It was getting exhausting.”
He gapes at me as though suddenly going over every moment we’ve ever spent together, trying to see it through my eyes. “You’re lying.”
“Nope.”
“Did you say it in those exact words? You know, sometimes men can’t take hints.”
“Did I scream at you to shove your giant dick in me? No,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I didn’t want to seem desperate. But I laid down those hints all over the place. You were just too blind to see what was right in front of your eyes. I mean, shit. How many times does a girl have to press up against you before you shove your tongue down her throat?”
“Bullshit.”
I shake my head and settle back into his side, a stupid smile across my face. “You know the night that Lenny and those execs came to see you in that old bar?” He nods and I go on. “I had this grand plan. That was going to be the night we finally had sex.”
“No,” he says, now the one pushing up on his elbow to meet my stare. He shakes his head, clearly remembering that night very differently. “I went out to some bullshit club.”
“Yeah,” I scoff. “I’m more than aware, but remember before that? You and I were supposed to spend the night together? But then your stupid ass bailed and broke my horny little heart, and instead of coming to the lake with me and spending the night buried deep inside of me, you chose to fuck around with the boys.”
He collapses back to the ground, his hands dragging down his face. “Fuck, Rae. I had no idea,” he says. “Ax said something in the car about you looking upset, but I thought he was talking shit, and by the time we got home, you weren’t there. We had to call you and then you came.”
I nod. “Right before that gig, that was the night my father first tried to touch me. I’d dropped him with a knee to the balls and didn’t want to go home, so I slept in your car at the lake until I knew it was safe to come home.”
He lets out a heavy breath, finally understanding why I did all the things I did back then. “Fuck.”
“Yeah,” I say, mimicking his heavy tone. “I threw you so many curveballs, and you managed to dodge every single one of those little bastards, choosing to believe I was some innocent, naive little girl when all I wanted was to know what it was like to be yours.”
“You were always mine, Rae.”
“You know what I mean,” I tell him. “I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to be my first.”
A heaviness comes over us, and he pulls me back into his arms. “I know,” he says. “I wanted that too. I wanted to be every first you ever had.”
I shrug my shoulder. “I mean, I suppose there’s a lot of things I’m experiencing with you for the first time,” I tell him. “I’ve never come during sex until you. Never been able to take control. Never actually enjoyed it.”
“What do you mean?” he questions. “You haven’t enjoyed sex until now?”
I shake my head. “After everything my father put me through, I wasn’t exactly willing to put myself out there. I’ve pretty much avoided men. You’re the only one I’ve allowed to touch me.”
Ezra rolls on top of me, bracing himself on his elbows to keep from crushing me, and I can’t help but twist my legs around his. “I am?” he asks, a strange joyfulness flashing in his eyes.
“Yeah,” I say with a dorky smile. “It’s only ever been you.”