Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“Oh, no. She looks so much better than she did a few months ago.”
While they sort through things, I make my way to the shampoo aisle. My hair is disgusting. I need a good conditioner. It’s grown out too much. I’m not sure why I ever cut my hair, but I wouldn’t mind it shorter again like in the video.
“Josie, let’s go. We’re going home,” Colten says.
“Where do I live?”
“With me.”
“I do?”
Colten eyes me like he’s sad, like he’s trying to figure me out. A puzzle he can’t quite solve. I know how he feels. I’ve been trying to figure myself out for nearly three months.
“Yes,” he whispers. “Don’t you remember?”
I hand my items to Felix so I can push my walker. Colten snags them from him before I baby step my way to the checkout. “The woman in red is pretty. You always liked the pretty g-girls,” I trip over my words. It’s so much better than it was even just weeks ago. But it’s not perfect. I don’t know if anything about me will ever be perfect. Colten scans my items at the self-checkout and taps his credit card to the machine.
“She can’t walk that fast,” Felix says as I try to catch up to Colten because he has my toothpaste and conditioner.
Colten turns and shoves the bag into Felix’s chest. “Take this, and take the walker.” He scoops me up in his arms.
“She won’t learn to do it on her own if you do it for her,” Felix says.
“Shut up, Dr. Whoever The Fuck You Are.”
He has no idea what Felix has done for me, but I don’t try to explain it now. I’m too busy staring at the side of his face. I want to touch it. I want to kiss it. And that makes me want to cry because I think he’s let part of his heart go to another woman. And I’m … still so broken.
“She needs to come home with me.” Felix doesn’t back away from Colten. He’s invested in my recovery, and for that, I will always be grateful.
“Nope.” Colten nods for Felix to open the passenger door of the car.
Felix eyes me.
I give him a slight nod. “I’ll get a ride home later.”
“No. No you won’t,” Colten says while setting me on my feet to get into the car.
I sit sideways first, with my legs outside of the door. “Felix is helping me.”
Colten gives me a look. The emotion in his eyes tears my heart into tiny pieces. It’s painful. He takes the bag and the walker from Felix and puts it into the back.
“You okay?” Felix asks.
I give him a slight nod. He hands me my purse. “My number is in the phone I got you.”
I nod again.
“See you in a while, Josie.”
Colten closes the trunk and scuffs his black dress shoes to me. On an infinitely deep sigh, he hunches in front of me, resting his hands on my legs. And he just … stares at me. His gaze slowly brushes along my face. I don’t know what to say. My memories are so out of order; therefore, the emotions tied to them are scattered as well. I don’t know how to explain this to him. I don’t know where to begin.
I just know that my heart is crashing against my ribcage. And I swear I can hear his doing the same.
When he doesn’t speak, I expect him to help my legs in the car. I expect him to ask me questions. He doesn’t.
He drops his head in my lap. I lift my hands, staring at his head and holding my fingers above it for a few seconds, afraid to touch him because I don’t know what’s appropriate, how he’s feeling, or anything about the lady in red. I draw in a shaky breath as tears flood my eyes. Even if my memories are fuzzy, my feelings are not. I’ve loved this man my whole life. My fingers find his hair, gently stroking it. His body shakes with silent sobs.
I blink.
All the tears race down my face onto him.
What did I do to us?
What did I do to him?
As quickly as he fell apart in my lap, he lifts my legs into the car, fastens my seat belt, and closes the door. When he doesn’t appear on the driver’s side right away, I glance behind me. His back is to the car, head bowed, fingers slowly running through his hair as he lifts his chin, gaze to the night sky for several seconds before he moves toward the driver’s side.
We make the trip to his house in silence. He retrieves my walker and the bag while I open the car door.
“Need help?” he asks, appearing a little less agitated without Felix’s presence.
I shake my head, swinging my legs out of the car and standing with the ease of a sloth. He moves with me, an inch at a time, into the house.