Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
When I didn’t give her the satisfaction of reacting, she charged at me, shoving my chest, pitching a fit. I loved it.
“Tell me she’s not your girlfriend or so help me, I’m going to end you, Mosley.” She continued to shove my chest until we were in the garage.
I grabbed her face and kissed her.
Again, she shoved me. After several seconds of her huffing and puffing her anger, hands balled into tight fists, she threw herself at me.
We kissed for a long time. She had a point to make, or so she thought. I knew the score. I knew what we were even if nobody else did. And maybe I should have said as much, but I enjoyed her attacking me like that. I liked the chase. And then I liked letting her catch me, letting her win.
When she released my mouth and rubbed her lips together, I couldn’t hide my grin. It was a silent victory lap.
“Now I’m wet,” she said.
I waggled my eyebrows. “Is that so?”
Her cheeks flamed in shades of red. “Pervert.”
“Jennifer doesn’t think I’m a pervert.”
“If you mention her name again, I’m going to tell my dad that you felt me up last week.”
I took a step closer, peering down at her with the usual look I gave her to call her bluff.
“Fine.” She sighed. “I’m not going to tell him that, but you will never see these,” she pointed to her tits, “again.”
I grinned. “Well, why didn’t you say that to begin with? Jennifer? Jennifer who?”
Josie’s addictive smile swelled until I felt it punch me in the chest. She rolled her eyes and sauntered toward my truck, plucking the sponge from the ground and dunking it into the five-gallon bucket of soapy water. “Now, answer my question. If something happens to your wife, will you find another? Or will your heart only belong to your first love?”
“Well, I told you I’m not getting married.”
“No. You said you weren’t having kids. Not the same thing.”
I used the brush to scrub the tires. I didn’t like talking about my future like Josie wasn’t going to be part of it. I knew she didn’t want marriage and a family, but I guess I kinda wished she’d at least want me.
“I don’t know, Josie. I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be focusing on college and baseball, not first and second wives. If you got married and lost your husband, would you remarry?”
“I’m not getting married, but hypothetically, sure. I’d remarry. Nobody wants to be lonely, right?”
I chuckled. “Apparently you’re okay with it since you don’t plan on getting married.”
“Doesn’t mean I won’t date or maybe cohabitate with a man.”
“Cohabitate?”
“It means—”
“Yes, Josie. I know what it means. It just seemed like a new dorky low, even for you.”
“Says the dumb jock who plays piano all the time.”
“I’m not dumb.”
“Well, I’m not a dork.”
“Why are you asking me about my imaginary second marriage?”
“Because Mrs. Leach is getting married again. Her husband died less than a year ago. So I have to wonder if she really loved him, since she not only found another man, but she’s marrying him. Or … is marriage like a comfort food?”
“Mrs. Leach, the advanced chemistry teacher?”
Josie nodded before tossing the sponge aside and grabbing the hose again to rinse the back of my truck.
“Uh. I didn’t know her husband died.”
“Where have you been?”
“Playing baseball, hating my dad, and dealing with you.”
“Me? Pfft … whatever. Anyway, I think she’s getting remarried because she has two kids and could use some help around the house.”
“Or maybe she loves the new guy.”
“Well, duh. I’m sure she does. I bet we can love more than one person. Don’t you?”
Nope. I loved Josephine Watts. My heart was constructed cell by cell in the womb to one day seek her out and love her forever. “I don’t know, Josie,” I said instead of my knee-jerk response. “My parents haven’t exactly been role models for marriage or love for that matter.”
“Well, Mrs. Leach is pretty cool. I think she’s my favorite teacher. And if she can move on so quickly and remarry after losing her husband, I think you can too.”
I bit my tongue. Really, what was the point of that conversation and my second wife?
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Dear Josie,
Thought I’d steal a page out of this journal to write you a letter. Today I met a woman. It’s not what you think, so just cool your afterlife jets, okay? She lost her husband to cancer last summer, and she has a daughter who is Reagan’s age. We chatted during the T-ball game. She said so many things that resonated with me. It made me feel like I was supposed to meet her.
I’m not the only person in the world who feels like love is a one-and-done. At the same time, I recalled the time when we were sixteen and you wanted to discuss my imaginary second wife. Some days are confusing, like today. Am I living the life you would want me to live? Would you hate that those words are even going through my head? I don’t know what to think right now. I’m too busy missing you. I’m really good at it, but I don’t let anyone else see it.