Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
I’m not going to die tonight, but I’m tired, so I go upstairs before anyone can knock on the window again and demand my attention. Managing a quick swipe of the toothbrush along my teeth first, I collapse onto the bed in my panties and one of Colten’s hoodies. Sleep takes me within seconds while I hug my burned hand to my chest.
I don’t know how long it takes, but when it happens, it’s sheer panic and nausea. “NOOOOO!” I gasp, but I can’t breathe. The pressure on my neck is unbearable. Panic ensues under the noose of my airway being crushed. This is it. This is how I die. It’s like I’m drowning all over again, but I’m not. Someone is strangling me. When I peel open my eyes, my heart explodes. It’s him.
Colten’s strangling me. This is how he’s protecting his daughter. I know it’s for the best. I deserve this. It’s what I’ve been preparing myself for since the day I should have died in the water. I don’t hate him.
No … I love him. I love him for loving me so completely. I love him for doing the right thing even when I didn’t understand it. But this time … I understand it. I’m trying so hard not to fight him, but my hands flail, hitting him.
Just let it happen …
Fighting the instinct to survive is hard, and it feels so out of my control. I grab his arms, trying to pry them off my neck. I can’t. He’s stronger.
Stay strong. Finish the job. Focus on my eyes. I’m ready.
I cough. He’s not gripping me hard enough. I shouldn’t be able to get any air.
Again, I cough.
The hoodie slides over my head.
“Josie. Josie. Josie … I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you … Breathe. Just breathe. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”
The pressure on my neck disappears, and air fills my lungs. The pounding of my heart overtakes all other sensations while he pulls me against his bare chest and kisses me over and over on my head, my cheeks, my lips.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so very sorry.”
My good hand touches my neck. “Why did you stop? I was ready.”
He pulls back, confusion lining his forehead. “Stop what?”
“Strangling me.”
“What? No … no, Josie. I wasn’t strangling you. You were having a nightmare. You woke up gasping and flailing, clawing at your neck like you couldn’t breathe.”
I sit up, tearing myself from his arms while swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Head bowed. Sweat along my brow. Confused.
“What is happening to me?” I whisper.
Colten crawls out of bed and disappears downstairs. A minute or so later, he returns with a glass of water. “I would never hurt you.”
My gaze lifts to his while I take the glass of water. “What are we doing?” I ask, barely above a whisper.
“We’re living.” He sits next to me on the bed, taking my injured hand onto his lap and tracing the lines of the bandage. “And it’s really fucking hard for you right now. If I could take this burden from you, I would. I feel like you’re still drowning, and every day I’m trying to save you. Josie, I have to save you.”
“Colten, I …” Emotion clogs my throat. “I made Reagan’s scarf too tight. I …”
“It was an accident. She’s fine.”
“But what if—”
“She’s fine,” he repeats.
I feel so dead inside, so I hand him the half-empty glass and collapse onto my side, easing my legs onto the bed. “I’m tired.”
“Then sleep, my love.” He kisses my cheek. “Dream of me. Dream of being legally bound to me forever.”
I attempt a smile because he’s trying so hard to lighten the mood. I’m walking death, and that sucks for everyone around me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
It’s a miracle, and because of this miracle, I am a true believer today.
Today I’m marrying Josephine Watts. My heart feels full, overflowing really. Everything I didn’t dare to imagine is here in this church.
A daughter.
The woman I’ve loved since I was ten.
Family.
Friends.
A future.
It’s all right here.
“I’m proud of you, son,” Josie’s dad says to me as I straighten my tie in the mirror. “You’ve made something of yourself. You are a good man. And I can’t imagine anyone better for my daughter.” He blows out a long breath. “If your dad was here, he’d be proud of you too. He’d see that you are absolutely everything he never was. And I’m sad for you that he’s not here because I think you would have been the dominant influence in his life that he needed. I think he would have been a better man because of the man you’ve become.”
I don’t want to think about my dad today. However, hearing Chief Watts say those words to me means a lot. He’s reminding me why I always looked up to him over my own father. He is the better man.