Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
I look down and see it’s Eddie, Benji’s dad, calling me. “Hello.” I answer the phone, my voice cracking, my heart breaking as I think of what he’s going through.
“Hey, son,” he says, his voice heavy, “I just got your message.”
I look down at my phone and pull up my messages, seeing I sent him a message to call me right away. A message I must have sent to him when everything was happening. “Eddie,” I start, my voice thick as I feel the tears on my face, “I’m so sorry.” The words are not enough. “What can I do to help?”
“We just left the funeral home…” He tries to hide his sobs. “I just left Koda at home.”
I put my head back on the headrest, closing my eyes. “How is she doing?”
“She’s a fucking rock—” he says, but then his voice goes lower. “I think she’s in shock.”
“I wanted to go see her and the girls.” I look out the window at the streetlights passing me by in a blur. “I’m on my way home now, but it’ll be after eleven.”
“She just took something to try to sleep. The girls are in bed with her,” he relays softly, “but it would be good if you came tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there as soon as you tell me I can be there,” I tell him. Fuck, I would sleep outside the house if I had to.
“Come around nine. We should all be at her house by then. I know Coach and a couple of the other guys will be coming in the afternoon.”
“Okay.” I inhale. “I’ll see you then.” I disconnect the line and look over at Ryleigh, who has her head on Stone’s shoulder. My father sits next to me, watching me more than anything else.
We pull up in my driveway, and I feel like I’m a robot just going through the motions. I dump my bags in the closet and take a shower. The whole night, I don’t sleep, not one wink, the guilt starting to sink in.
At six o’clock, I finally get out of bed and make my way downstairs to make coffee. “Having trouble sleeping?” my father asks three minutes after I’ve gone to the kitchen. I just nod. “Do you want me to come with you?” The lump in my throat feels like it’s clogging my breathing. All I can do is shake my head. “I’ll drive you, wait for you in the car.”
“I got it, Dad,” I assure him, and all he does is look at me. He looks like he hasn’t slept a wink all night. I go upstairs and get ready. Stone and Ryleigh haven’t woken up by the time I leave at eight thirty to make my way to Benji’s house.
My eyes feel like little pieces of sand are stuck under my eyelids as I walk up the four steps to the brown front door. I reach out, pressing the bell, hearing footsteps running to the door. “It’s Uncle Christopher!” Rain shouts from inside the house. “I saw out the window.” The door unlocks, and she swings it open.
“There is the prettiest six-year-old I’ve ever seen.” I put a smile on my face, and all she does is smirk at me before I bend down and take her in my arms. I close my eyes, trying to fight the tears. “How are you doing?”
“I’m sad,” she admits softly, and I don’t have a chance to say anything else as Luna comes running to the door.
“It’s Uncle Chrissy,” she says, jumping up and down, excited to see me. I’m really hoping she doesn’t remember the next couple of days.
“There is the birthday girl.” I open my arm for her to run into the other side of me before I pick them both up and walk into the house. You can feel the tightness, and the tension fills the rooms. Even with the curtains all open and the sun coming in, you feel the sadness through the walls.
“You guys are getting heavy.” I kiss their heads, walking from the front door to the family room. Eddie is there, his eyes bloodshot and puffy, no doubt from crying all night.
I put the girls down on their feet before walking over and hugging Eddie. “Thanks for coming,” he says, and I look around for Koda.
“Where’s Koda?” I ask.
“She’s in the basement going through pictures to give to the…” He doesn’t finish the sentence. “You can go down there with her. I’m going to take the girls out to my house for a bit. Change of scenery.”
I nod at him, turning and walking to the basement stairs. Benji used to call it his man cave. I put one foot in front of the other but don’t race to get down there. My heart rises to my throat as I make it to the bottom step. The room has his jerseys hung in glass boxes from the whole time he’s played. Hockey pucks are also on display from different points in his career. Pictures of him with different family members throughout the years, and then the one of him and me at the Winter Classic from two seasons ago. We froze our fucking asses off, and you can see our ears and noses are bright red.