Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 74022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
God damn.
I’m going to cry.
He moves quickly, reaching over and cupping my cheek. For a second, I don’t know what to do but sit there and stare at him, mouth parted, eyes no doubt glassy. And then, I do something stupid. I lean forward, and I press my lips against his. I’ve wanted to do this, for so long, but I’ve never had the courage. I’ve never been able to find the strength. For a moment, I don’t feel like he’ll kiss me back.
But he does.
And when he does, my world stops.
It just comes to a screeching halt.
His mouth. His taste. The rough scratching of his two-day growth against my skin.
It sends me over the edge.
And I want him. God, do I want him.
But he pulls back and closes his eyes, jaw tight. “Fuck,” he growls.
I’m confused.
He stands up suddenly, running his hands through his hair. “I shouldn’t be doing this. Fuck. I promised myself I wouldn’t, and I’m failin’ in every fuckin’ way it counts.”
Shame fills me.
He didn’t want me to kiss him?
“I’m sorry ...” I stammer. “I shouldn’t have ...”
He looks to me, eyes fiery. “Kissin’ you was fuckin’ incredible. Do not be sorry. Took everythin’ for me to pull away. But, fuck, it isn’t just about me.”
Chantelle.
I know he’s going to say Chantelle.
“Chantelle,” I whisper.
“Care a fuck of a lot about her, Penny. Problem is, care a fuck of a lot about you, too. Situation is fuckin’ with my head. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to ruin the two best women I’ve ever met. Makin’ it hard. All of this is makin’ it hard. Told her to stay away, watched the pain in her eyes, but she took it, and it hurt her. Already hurt more than I should. Now you ...”
“I understand,” I say softly.
Because I do.
God, I do.
I respect the hell out of him for being honest, even though hearing him say he cares about Chantelle hurts a lot more than I’m willing to admit.
I still respect him for it.
He runs his hands through his hair again and murmurs, “Goin’ to sleep. Meant what I said, you can stay here as long as you need. Sorry ... about all this. It’s doin’ my fuckin’ head in. Don’t like hurtin’ people.”
I smile at him, but even I can feel it wobbles. “No problem. I understand, I really do.”
He stares at me.
Then nods.
And then he’s gone.
And I’m a hell of a lot more confused than I was when I woke up this morning.
Everything feels like it’s just going to crap.
And there is nothing I can do to stop it.
~10~
NOW – BOSTON
“Know you’re scared, Nerissa, but right here, where you are, it’s safe. It’s the best place to be, for you and your child.”
She stares at me, Maverick’s girl, eyes wide and scared. Both hands are clutching her stomach, and she’s got a million thoughts running through her mind. I can see that, and I’m doing my best to try and calm her down. Promised Maverick I wouldn’t let her out of my sight. He knows how flighty she is. He knows she doesn’t deal with this life on a good day, let alone now.
If I’m being honest, I don’t know why he picked her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s beautiful and sweet and a fucking great woman. But she’s sensitive, and weak, and the club life scares her. She wants no part in it, but Maverick ... It’s his world, and nothing is ever going to change that. Not completely sure how they’re ever going to make it long term, especially with a child.
She’ll be scared, all the time.
Like she is right now.
“He’s in danger out there,” she stammers. “I know he is. I should have never done this. I should have run, made him come with me. I should have made him make a choice, me and our child, or the club. This life is dangerous. He’ll never be safe.”
“Nerissa,” I say, kneeling in front of her, trying to get her to look at me. “This is his world. He’s not goin’ to run from it. You knew that when you got together with him.”
Her eyes hold mine. “He has a baby on the way. He loves me. Things are different now.”
She doesn’t understand the club. She doesn’t get it. Once you’re in, you’re in. Malakai isn’t the kind of man that wouldn’t let Maverick go. Hell, they’re brothers, of course he would, but that isn’t what Maverick wants. The club runs in his blood. It’s everything to him. It is him. It’s all of us. You don’t just get up and leave.
“Listen,” I say to her, grabbing her shoulders, “you’re freaking out, and that’s understandable. But Maverick knows what he’s doing. This isn’t something that happens all the time, hell, it’s a first since I’ve been here. The club life, it isn’t always dangerous. You gotta know that.”