Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 74022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Even though I’d really, really like it right now.
I have to have some self-respect.
Someone bangs on my door, loudly.
I turn my head and stare at it for a second, and the banging continues. With a sigh, I stand, walking over and swinging it open. Boston is standing on the other side, jaw tight, eyes flashing with frustration, gorgeous body panting. Damn him for being so fine. It makes it so much harder.
“Don’t fuckin’ like bein’ ignored, Chantelle.”
His voice is rough, and husky, and so damned nice.
“I don’t like being used, Boston.”
“The fuck you on about, woman?”
I cross my arms, refusing to move out of the doorframe. “How stupid do you think I am? I might look it, but I’m not as dumb as I seem.”
He growls with frustration, “Still no fuckin’ idea what you’re talkin’ about.”
“You have feelings for Penny, and you’re just using me for sex.”
For a moment, he stares at me, just blankly, like I’ve surprised him. “Where the fuck are you comin’ up with this shit? This why you’ve been ignorin’ me?”
“You kicked me out of your house when she came over, I see the way you look at her. I didn’t come down in the last shower, Boston, I know when someone has feelings for another person, I also know when I’m just a sex toy.”
“You’re out of your fuckin’ mind. If I wanted just a fuck, I could find it with my fuckin’ eyes closed.”
“Away you go then.”
“Stop bein’ a stubborn ass female. I like you, wouldn’t hang out with you the way I do if I didn’t, wouldn’t call you, wouldn’t fuckin’ be at your door right now because you didn’t answer.”
Dammit. He has a valid point.
But still.
“Maybe so, but you also have feelings for her, and this is going to end badly.”
“Don’t have feelings for her,” he growls.
He says that and, for a moment, I really wish I could just cheer and say yes, thank god, he doesn’t and everything is fine. But I know it isn’t. Maybe he honestly doesn’t believe he feels anything for her, but anyone with two eyes can see what they have goes deeper than friendship, even if it isn’t romance, it’s something.
“What you have with her goes deeper than friendship, Boston.”
“Care about her a fuckin’ lot. Yeah, we’re close. Real close. But I’m not usin’ you.”
“Maybe you’re not, but this is already too messy for me. She cares about you, and you clearly care about her. I don’t know how deep that runs, but it’s deep enough for me to need to take a step back.”
“You’re overthinkin’ this.”
“No, I’m not. Which is why we can’t see each other for a while. I want to be friends, and we can be, but that’s it.”
He stares at me and, with a rugged growl, steps forward and grabs my hair in his fists, pulling me in and kissing me so hard, and so damned good, I struggle to breathe. My lungs seize, my knees tremble, and I find myself unable to push him back. I kiss him with a hunger that runs deep, like I’m starving for him. It takes me longer than a few minutes to snap myself out of it and pull back.
When I do, we’re both panting, both staring at each other with hungry eyes.
But I know I can’t let him in.
I can’t have sex with him again.
I can’t let my feelings get any deeper for him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my lips burning from his kiss. Swollen from the contact. “But we can only be friends, and that’s it. I have to protect myself. Goodnight, Boston.”
With that, I close the door and lock it.
Then I press my back to it and close my eyes.
Dammit.
Why does doing the right thing feel so damned shitty?
~6~
EARLIER – PENELOPE
“Hey!” Amalie smiles, coming into Boston’s house followed by Malakai, Koda, and Boston.
I don’t get to see the members of the club enough—occasionally they come over and have a beer with Boston, but mostly he goes there. I like everyone there, especially the women. They’re amazing and some of the best people I’ve met. They’re right in the middle of something with Saskia and have had more than their fair share of crap in the last six months.
But they stick together.
And I like that.
“Hey.” I wave, pushing Cassie into the living room.
She loves it when they visit, too. Understandably.
“I haven’t seen you since we went out, I’ve missed you! How are you?”
Amalie walks over to me, smiling. She’s a beautiful person. The kindest of the kind. A heart of pure gold. I think I was meant to fall into being her ex-boyfriend’s carer because through that, I met her and made a great friend. Cassie adores her, too. And loves when she comes and visits.
“Hey, Cass!”
“Hey, Amalie, how are you?” Cassie smiles.
“Awesome, how are you?”