Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 70185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
I was laughing so hard at Justice’s little meltdown that I pushed my first son out into the world. I felt Marcus tense up at the baby’s first cry before his body relaxed completely. “You wanna go see?” I gritted out the words because the next one was pushing against every organ in my body.
“No, not until you’re done.” He kissed my ear and smoothed the sweat-drenched hair back off my face. I never heard of anyone doing this, but I think they should. It was so comforting being held in his arms like this, with the strength of his chest behind me and the feel of his hands gently caressing as I pushed.
There was some kind of relaxing instrumental music piping through the walls, and the incense, which wasn’t too strong, seemed to have a calming effect as well, so I was in a strange place of pain, relaxation, and excitement. I guess the epi was doing its job after all.
Marcus never stopped whispering in my ear the whole time. No matter what else was going on in the room, his whole focus was on me. He soon got me to concentrate on his voice alone and began to paint a picture with words.
He talked about our girls, that’s what he calls my daughters, ours. I never knew how much that meant to me until he said it time and again and showed it as well with his actions over these last few months.
Right now, they’re out in the Cleopatra room with Monique, Carl, their aunts, uncles, and great-grandparents, along with my dad, waiting for the birth of their siblings. He’d taken time in the last few weeks to spend with each of them separately because he read somewhere that older siblings sometimes hold some form of jealousy when a new child is born into the family, and he was afraid of them feeling slighted in the least.
Now, he was painting a picture of all the fun times we were going to have together as a family. All the places he wanted to share with us, his favorite places from his travels. When our last son came out kicking and screaming, my big, strong husband went limp.
“Oh dear, catch him before he falls.” I didn’t have the strength to look behind me at Mom’s words. Thankfully, the doula moved to my side to hold him in place. Marcus had passed out.
‘The dick and the cooch outta commission, I’m out. These damn gremlins is lethal with their shit, and I ain’t fixin’ a change no nasty diapers no damn way.’ I waved a hand because I didn’t have the strength to answer with words.
MARCUS
“Hey, little Maverick, Morgan, and Maximilian, remind Aunty Mo-Mo to tell you, guys, about how your big bad daddy fainted when you were born.”
“Go away, Monique, they’re trying to sleep.”
“Then why are you in here?”
Because I can’t stop looking at them, and I won’t be admitting that out loud because everything I do or say these days is used against me.
Apparently, it’s not manly to faint after spending hours watching your woman endure the most hellacious pain I’ve ever seen anyone go through.
I want to say they’re worth it, but I’m not the one who had to go through it. However, their mother and their sisters agree with me. It’s only been a couple of weeks since they were born, but they’ve already taken over my life completely.
I hate having to leave them even for a second and only do it if their mother needs me. She says I’m obsessed and swears that I’ll burn out soon if I keep this up, but she has no idea the strength I get just from their existence.
It's almost as if I myself have been reborn. Everything seems new, and instead of the darkness I’ve lived with for most of my adult life, I now see something more: promise. I thought I’d lucked out with Justine, that life had finally thrown me a bone after fucking me over. But man, I had no idea that this was waiting for me, too.
There’s so much I want to share with them and their mother and sisters, so much I can’t wait to see through their young, innocent eyes as they grow. I can’t imagine snatching their security away from them. Can’t imagine a time when I wouldn’t want to be part of their lives and the life I was building with my wife and daughters.
Their birth had unlocked something deep inside me that I didn’t know was there. I thought I loved her before, but there was nothing to compare to what I feel for her now. And knowing this, feeling this, I feel even more for the mother who had suffered so much because she loved the wrong man.
I guess I was thinking about her more these days because I wish she’d been here to see her grandkids born. I watch my grandparents with the kids, all of them, and see the joy they get from one of the girls climbing into their lap.