Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 78807 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78807 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
“Well, you’ll have to skip work. I don’t know if I’m going to get a job at all.” I pause outside of Fendi, frowning at the intimidating storefront. I’ve never gone inside of a place like that, much less bothered to stop and stare, but now Finn’s credit card is like a weight in my pocket.
I could afford that store. The thought is strange, almost foreign.
If I wanted something in there, I could buy it without a second thought.
“You’re not working?” Kathryn sounds honestly surprised. “You don’t strike me as the trophy wife type.”
I jab her with my elbow. “I am not a trophy wife, but I have a baby coming, and apparently Finn has plenty of money—” I take a deep breath, turning away. No matter how rich he might be, I can’t bring myself to spend lavishly. I don’t belong in a place like that. “Besides, if it was hard to find work before, imagine how hard it’ll be when I’m showing.”
Kathryn takes my arm, walking close as we move on. “Still, you’re going back to work eventually, right? You always said you didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom.”
I tilt my head from side to side. “I honestly don’t know what our relationship is going to look like. And I said all that back before I got pregnant. Things are different now.”
She scowls slightly. “Different now? Come on, you haven’t changed all that much in the last few days. You haven’t talked about what your life’s going to look like?”
“I mean—” I hesitate, looking away, feeling foolish. The practical stuff hasn’t come up yet. “No, we haven’t. Everything’s happening so fast, we haven’t actually sat down and gone over what we want out of all this.”
“Girl, I knew you lost your mind, but now I’m pretty sure someone killed the Dara I used to know and replaced her with an alien. Seriously, since when did you not plan, at least a little bit?”
She’s got a point. Ever since I was little, I’ve always been a planner. I kept a diary for years, but it was really a bunch of to-do lists strung together with the occasional entry about my feelings. Which were very intense for a twelve-year-old.
Now it’s like I’m so swept up in this relationship that I haven’t stopped to actually consider what it’ll look like in a year or two or ten.
Or what I really want any of this to look like.
“The baby’s the priority,” I say as we come down the escalator toward the bottom level. “I guess it doesn’t matter what we decide on, so long as the baby’s taken care of.”
“You have to think about yourself, at least a little bit.” Kathryn steers me over to an open bench and we sit together as people stream past. “At some point, the baby won’t be a baby anymore, and then what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I say, starting from shift side to side, feeling defensive and frustrated. “What does the wife of a criminal do? Go shopping? Try not to get killed or arrested?” I feel spinny and dumb for not at least thinking about this at some point.
“Dara,” she says softly, putting her hand on my knee to steady me, staring into my face. “I’m being serious. What do you want with your life?”
I take a deep breath, tilting my chin up, staring toward the ceiling. I’ve been so busy trying to survive that I haven’t considered there might be more than worrying about where my next meal’s coming from and how I’m going to provide basic necessities.
Now that I’m Finn’s wife, I can start breathing again. The only problem is, I feel directionless.
“What if I don’t figure it out right now?” I ask, glancing at her. “What if I just… live in the moment? For a while, anyway.”
“You could do that.” Her lips press together. “I just worry he’s going to steamroll you and it’ll become more about what he wants and less about what you need.”
“That might happen, but I’m not sure.”
“Do you trust him?”
I let out an undignified snort-laugh. “God, no.” But then I consider for a moment. “Well, a little bit. At least, not completely.”
“That’s good then. You have a base to build on. Do you… like him?”
“There’s some… there-there.” I try not to smile.
She grins. “Lots of there-there, I bet.”
“We have a spark. I can’t pretend like we don’t. Only he seems hell-bent on keeping feelings out of this.”
Except is he? Last night he dragged me into his bed with him and got me off while I stared up at the stars. That didn’t seem very business-like.
“If you feel the spark, he feels it too.” She leans closer. “Could be it that you have a crush on your husband?”
I glare at her. “How dare you make such an accusation.”