Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 71832 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71832 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“I don’t regret it,” he says, pulling his hand from mine. “Any of it. Not joining. Not Carson. Not Joanna. Especially not Joanna.”
I lean back, trying not to cry. “Even knowing how it’ll all turn out, you wouldn’t go back and change anything?”
He hesitates. “If I could, I’d hide you from Carson. I think both of you would be better off if he never saw you to begin with. Otherwise? It’s been a good life. Joanna was some of the best of it. Hell, maybe she still can be, if I’m lucky. I’m sure Carson’s busy hunting down the entire Polish family as we speak and killing them in gruesome ways.”
I nod a little, letting that sink in. If I were in Iain’s position, I’d be thinking about how my mistakes brought me here, wallowing in my failures, pissed at myself for not fixing things in time before violence swept over everyone I cared about.
Instead, he seems defiant.
I’m jealous. I wish I could think of Carson that way, as something to embrace instead of something to fear.
“I’m not going back to him,” I say, clutching the handrests of my chair. “He’s been giving me space the last few days, and I’m not going back.”
“I doubt Carson’s going to give you a choice.” He sighs, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “That’s the thing about him, Ash. You think you’re doing what you want to do, but in the end, you somehow bend back toward what he really wanted all along.”
“That’s the thing. I think he’s been giving me choices from the beginning, and I think he’ll respect what I finally decide.”
“Then why hasn’t he given up yet?”
“I don’t know,” I admit as there’s a knock at the door.
I turn around and an older nurse comes inside. She looks nervous, frowning awkwardly from me to Iain and back again. “Ah, uh, you’re Ashlyn, correct?” She holds a white envelope out to me. “I’m supposed to give you this.”
I stare at the envelope. My hands begin to shake and my stomach twists with horror. I accept it wordlessly. The nurse hurries back out like she can’t wait to get out of the room.
“What’s that?” Iain asks.
“Carson keeps giving my engagement ring back. Over and over, he keeps returning it like I’d ever keep the thing. I flushed it down the toilet a few days back, but…”
I open the envelope and there it is. The ring, pristine, sparkling. And a note.
I think about you all the time. Come home. Carson.
“I told you,” Iain says, sounding exhausted.
“I flushed it down the toilet. How the hell did he get it back to me?”
“Time and limitless money. Toss it into a volcano and I bet he’ll still find a way to get it back to you.”
A strange, numb anger washes over me, like it’s coming from somewhere distant. “He can’t keep doing this.”
“We both know he can and he will.”
“Is it supposed to convince me? How is this supposed to prove that he’s not absolutely terrifying?”
“He loves you. This is how he shows it.”
“Well, it’s not going to work. I hate that man.”
“Do you?” Iain’s smile only makes me angrier.
I shove the ring into my pocket. “I’m leaving. Do you need anything?”
“I’m taken care of.” His eyes peek open. “Like you. Don’t look at me like that, it’s not so bad. Carson means well.”
“Carson can go to hell.”
I turn and storm out of the room.
Chapter 36
Ash
I’m terrified as I pound on his door.
Nobody’s on the block. No Fitz, no soldiers. I halfway expect him not to answer, but the second after I knock twice, the familiar sound of the bolt slamming back into its housing makes me jump.
“You can come in,” he says over the intercom.
“No, thanks. If you want to talk, you can talk to me here.” I move back down the stoop and stand on the sidewalk, hands on my hips.
He appears a moment later. Carson, my gorgeous Carson. My breath catches and my heart stutters, as confused as I feel. He’s wearing slacks, a button-down, the top three buttons undone, the sleeves rolled to show off his forearms like he knew I was on the way and wanted to make himself look as much like sex incarnate as possible. I blink rapidly, trying not to look at his messy hair, his full lips, that incredibly intense stare he levels on me.
I spent a few days in this man’s bed, and I feel like I haven’t left it since.
“I missed you,” he says, his voice low and resonant.
I flinch, turning to the side. “Don’t try anything, okay? If you come down off that stoop, I’ll scream until your neighbors come out.” I glance at him, jaw set. “Do you understand?”
His smirk makes my blood turn to ice water. “Do you really think I don’t own this entire block?”