Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
I scoffed. “Um, hello, college swim star.”
“Ha, I said something similar to Bailey,” he mused. “He always complains that you were lucky enough to forge the path before him. And while that’s true, being the older, cooler brother…Bailey is the star of your family.” He threw me a wary glance. “No offense.”
“None taken. I agree.” I adjusted my legs on the sand. “I always wished for some of his innocence. Turns out, as the oldest, I ended up knowing way too much about the crap going on in my family.”
I should’ve been able to tell Bailey all the shit I knew about our parents so I didn’t feel so alone. Instead, I’d chosen to protect him, even at the demise of our relationship. Just how it was.
“Tell me about it,” Alex muttered. “It was the exact reason I couldn’t tell my parents about my sexuality for the longest time. They had so much going on with Zoey, I didn’t want to add more to their plate, even though I knew they’d accept me, no questions.”
“Makes sense.” I pressed our shoulders together. “I did the same, waiting to tell my parents I was bisexual.”
“You thanked me that night on the dock, for helping you realize you were bi.” He stole a glance. “I’ll admit that made me feel pretty damned special, Ted.”
I grinned. “And you should. Looking back, little things started making more sense. Like me being overly interested in certain TV shows. I thought I was admiring the hunky actors, but I probably just wanted to make out with them.”
“Funny how that happens.” Alex lay on the sand, and I followed suit, the easy conversation settling in my chest and warming me to my core. “There really isn’t a good roadmap for queer people to follow.”
“I even second-guessed myself about you. You were my brother’s best friend…” I stared at the blanket of stars. “But there was something about you, even back then. I felt drawn to you, but I wasn’t sure why.”
“It had to be the braces my freshman year,” he teased.
“Braces are sexy, Carl.” Alex burst out laughing, and it was infectious. “And now you have a dazzling smile to show for it.”
He covered his mouth with his hand as if imagining those awkward years.
It grew quiet between us as I thought about how we got here, to this very place, years later.
“That night on the dock…I knew I was about to ruin everything.” I swallowed back the emotion that still felt too fresh. “And when you came out to sit with me, I figured I didn’t have anything to lose by confessing my crush to you.”
“And now?” he asked in a cautious tone. “Are you afraid about what happens when this ends between us?”
“That we’ll ruin this friendship?” I asked, and Alex nodded. “Yeah, a little. It’s just so easy with you. I enjoy your company and love hanging out with you, and not only for sex.”
“So maybe we keep doing this—communicating. I heard it’s what responsible adults do.” He cracked a smile. “I have no stars in my eyes about what this is. But right now, it feels too damned good. So when it ends, I hope…”
“I hope too.” I sat up, my pulse pounding for too many different reasons. Damn, I was soft for this guy. Had always been soft for him. “You’re a good person, Alex. And a good friend.”
“Am I, though?” he asked in a bitter tone, and I knew he meant us sneaking around behind Bailey’s back.
My gut churned. Maybe I wanted this more than I thought. To keep this going. Why couldn’t we see where it led us, Bailey be damned?
“It’s okay to grab some happiness for yourself.” I clenched my jaw. “You’ve taken a back seat far too often in your life.”
“Is that what you call this?” he sat up and motioned between us. “Grabbing happiness?”
“Orgasms are good for the soul,” I said, and Alex laughed.
“No way to deny it. Food, swimming, orgasms. So far, college is off to a great start.”
I grinned. “Glad to be part of it.”
His eyes softened. “I’m glad too.”
We stood, brushing sand off our clothes.
“Besides, maybe my reasons are selfish.” I cupped his jaw, leaning closer. “Maybe I wanna stick this out long enough to have you fuck me next time.”
His eyes widened. “You’d want that?”
“Uh-huh, I definitely would.” I wasn’t on the receiving end very often, but no way I’d pass up that opportunity with Alex.
He threw back his head and groaned in an exaggerated fashion. “You really don’t play fair, Ted.”
“Ted?” a voice came from behind us. “That’s what you call him? That’s who you’ve been texting?”
We turned to find Bailey and Danica hand in hand as if they’d had the same idea about a stroll on the beach. Fuck my life.
20
Alex
“What the hell is going on?” Bailey asked, letting go of Danica’s hand and folding his arms across his chest like a parent who’d just discovered his kid doing drugs or something.