Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 92743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
My jaw drops. “But Sunday is one of your biggest days.”
“I don’t care.”
“There are still a few tourists out. I saw them on my way in.”
“Still, don’t care,” she says, settling beside me and wrapping her arm around my back. “You need some TLC, bestie. So, I’m going to run you a bath, get you some pajamas to borrow, and then we’ll snuggle in my bed and watch Anne of Green Gables and eat chocolate until the pain gets better.”
Tears spring to my eyes again. “I can’t. I have to get back to the hospital to visit Gramps.”
“You’ll call Gramps and tell him you that feel like shit and need to rest, he’ll understand,” she says. “If he could see you right now, he’d insist I take care of you, just like he did when we were kids. We can order pizza too, like at our old sleepovers.”
“I loved sleepovers,” I sob, tears flowing down my face again. “Things were so much easier then. Still hard, but so much easier.”
“I know, honey,” Elaina says, hugging me tighter. “But we’ll make them easy again, just for tonight. Just you and me. I’ve got your back, girl. Forever and ever. Boys will come and go, but I’m yours for life.”
She means it, I know she does. And she’s so precious to me. I’d die for Elaina in a heartbeat, but is our friendship and the love I have for Maya and Sydney and my family enough to live for anymore? Or have I been ruined by the complicated, damaged, dangerous man who just walked out of my life with the sweetest final words any man ever gave a woman?
“I can’t understand it, Elaina,” I say. “How can he make me feel so safe and wonderful and have nearly taken someone’s life with his bare hands, too? I don’t get it. Make it make sense.”
She sighs. “Oh man. Sounds like we need to talk. But first, your bath. I’ll start it now and grab you a coconut water from the fridge. You need to hydrate. You look like you’ve cried out half your soul.”
“Probably more than half,” I mumble, rubbing at my scratchy eyes.
“Come on,” she says, helping me to my feet. “Come on, my battered little squirrel. A soak will help. Then we’ll get you fed and hydrated and when you’re ready, we’ll talk about sexy sad Weaver.”
“He was really sad,” I agree, fighting another wave of tears. “I think he really loved me.”
“No doubt,” Elaina says. “He’s a very smart man and you’re very, very loveable. But shush. No more boy talk until after you get cleaned up and rest a little. A nap would also be good. I love a mid-morning nap. We can turn on my sound machine and snuggle with stuffed animals like when we were kids. I still have a huge stuffy stash in my closet.”
And so, we do. I soak in the bath until my stomach starts to settle, drinking the coconut water while Elaina bustles around outside, getting the room ready for our healing day. Afterward, I put on a pair of her pajamas that fit just fine aside from being way too short, and we nap and eat and watch television and stay in bed until she pops downstairs to feed the kitties their afternoon snack and clean up the litter boxes.
Then, we go right back to sloth mode and she’s right, it is healing.
But at this rate, I’ll need approximately ten thousand days in bed to mend the gaping misery hole inside me.
“More pizza?” Elaina asks as we finish the last episode of Anne of Green Gables. “Or should I be a good girl and make us a veggie stir fry for supper?”
“Pizza,” I say, and she grins.
“I like it when you facilitate my naughtiness. And really, it’s best if we eat the leftovers now. They won’t be as good tomorrow.”
So, we do, but hours later, when the lights are off and my best friend is snoring softly beside me, I can’t sleep. I tell myself it’s all the cheese, but I know it’s not that.
It’s Weaver’s last words ringing in my ears, and the horrible feeling that I’m never going to find a man like him again, that he was my one in a million and now he’s gone and I will be alone and untouched forever.
I don’t want anyone to touch me but him.
And memories won’t be enough to keep me warm or even sane, not even close. Cursing stupid past me for thinking they would be, I roll over and squeeze my eyes shut, willing my body not to shake as I cry.
chapter 27
WEAVER
The only thing more devastating than losing the woman you love?
Losing her and realizing you don’t have a soul in the world to turn to for comfort, because you’ve cut every soft thing from your life in your quest never to feel again.