Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 111400 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111400 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
“I have to,” I said, feeling nervous and sweaty. “There’s a reason I’ve never done this before. It’s a big deal. And I can’t afford to get it wrong.”
“Relax, Cole.” Jessalyn smiled at me again, getting up from her desk chair and coming over to an upholstered chair adjacent to the couch. She sat down and crossed her legs. “The fact that you’re taking this seriously says that you understand this is a sensitive matter. It’s going to take patience, love, and maybe some tough conversations and extra hugs, but I have faith in you.”
“Thanks.”
“So I want you to think about three things.” She clasped her hands around her knee.
“Three things,” I repeated, writing it down.
“First, and I know you’re good at this already, you want to start by reassuring her that you love her and she’ll always be your first priority, no matter what.”
“Okay.” That was an easy one.
“Mariah will want to hear that your relationship with this new person is not going to take you away from her.”
“It won’t,” I said firmly.
“Next, tell her why you’d like to date this person—she’s smart, she’s kind, she makes you laugh—so that Mariah has a sense of what it is that’s drawing you to her.”
“Mariah already knows her pretty well,” I said.
Jessalyn looked surprised and pleased. “Really? It’s someone she knows?”
“Cheyenne lives next door to us. We grew up together—her older brother Griffin is my best friend. Actually, it was Cheyenne who gave me your name last year when I was looking for a therapist for Mariah.”
“Oh, this is Cheyenne Dempsey we’re talking about?” Jessalyn laughed. “I know her through the elementary school. And Mariah mentions her frequently.”
“We do see her a lot—even more than usual this fall because of her brother’s wedding. So it’s not like I’d be introducing her to a stranger.”
“No, and that could make it a bit easier,” Jessalyn said. “But still best to be prepared for some resistance and fear.”
“Of course.” I glanced down at my notes. “So are we on number two or three?”
“Well, some of what I was going to say might be irrelevant now, since Mariah has already met her and they have a nice relationship. I was going to suggest the first few meetings be in neutral spaces, and not to introduce them at all until you were absolutely certain the relationship between the two of you was serious.”
“It’s—I’d say it’s serious.” I cleared my throat. “We’ve had feelings for each other for a while. It just took us some time to act on them. We wanted to be sure this was right.”
Jessalyn nodded. “Sounds like you both have good, level heads on your shoulders. That said, I might avoid sleepovers until things are more settled.”
“Well, considering that we both live with our mothers, those are pretty much out anyway,” I said wryly. “I’m in the process of purchasing a new house, but I hear what you’re saying, and I agree.”
“Good. I’m not saying you have to be remarried for that to happen,” she said gently, “but sometimes that is best.”
I glanced down at my bare ring finger, my chest growing inexplicably tight. “I understand.”
“Your situation is also a little unique in that there is no ex-spouse involved,” Jessalyn went on. “But that doesn’t mean that she’ll jump at the opportunity to have a new mom. Every child is different, but many children don’t like the thought of someone attempting to replace the parent they lost. You’ll want to be sensitive to that, especially if Mariah isn’t able to articulate what she’s feeling exactly.”
“Right.”
“But remarriage is a wonderful thing.” Jessalyn smiled and sat back. “It’s another loving adult in her life, another reassuring presence. And a chance for you to demonstrate a healthy, intimate relationship. She needs that.”
I nodded, clearing my throat. “Remarriage is kind of a scary topic.”
“Oh?”
“Not necessarily for me personally,” I said quickly, because I wasn’t scared of anything. “But because of a promise I made to Mariah when she was five.”
“What kind of promise?”
I told her about the time Mariah had come to me and asked if I ever planned to get married and leave her behind, and I’d vowed it would never happen. “A friend at school had been telling her that her father was getting remarried and moving away, and it was very upsetting to Mariah.”
“Of course,” said Jessalyn, nodding. “I can see how it would be. And sometimes we say things to our children to make them feel safe in the moment, and it’s only later that we realize that the truth might have allowed for some needed emotional development.”
“But it wasn’t like I said something untrue,” I argued. “I really never saw myself getting married again.”
“It’s wonderful that you met someone who made you change your mind, isn’t it?” Jessalyn smiled knowingly at me.
“I guess. I mean yes—it is.” But the topic of marriage was making me feel anxious, and I decided it was because I was worried my daughter would object. “What should I do if Mariah doesn’t see it that way? If she sees it as a threat?”