Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 112089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
The horrible little creature raced after him, faster and gaining. It clipped the shears shut as Mr. Tom vaulted onto the sidewalk, nicking him.
“Ah!” Mr. Tom bowled over Jasper.
They fell off the sidewalk in a tangle of limbs before rolling onto the street. The suitcase went flying, tumbling end over end. It burst open, and various horrible disguises spewed over the concrete. The last to settle was a pair of Elvis glasses with fake sideburns glued on.
The gnome stopped at the edge of the sidewalk. It dropped the shears to one side before leaning forward and cackling again.
“Honestly, Ivy House.” Mr. Tom untangled himself from Jasper, flailed a little to get up, and then showed everyone way too much real estate.
“And that is why you should wear underwear,” Hollace told Cyra, turning away quickly.
“It’s a compelling argument,” she replied thoughtfully.
“Will you do nothing to control those horrible things until at least after we take care of business?” Mr. Tom said, trying to smooth his hair, which was standing up all over his head in messy wisps.
“They all look like that, and he’s worried about a homicidal gnome?” Ivy House asked.
“We’re all worried about homicidal gnomes!” I thought-hollered at her.
As if hearing me, the gnome turned. It stood in the middle of the sidewalk now, staring directly at me. It slowly brought up its little shears, and an evil smile drifted across its face.
“It’s okay, Miss Jessie, I’ll get it!” Edgar lurched forward with his hands out, preparing to run to my aid. Except he hadn’t lifted up his muumuu.
He stepped on the hemline, got tangled up in fabric, and flattened across the sidewalk with an oomph.
“Ye can change into a swarm of insects,” Niamh said, watching him. “Why didn’t ye just do that rather than fall on yer face?”
Edgar struggled with the fabric, trying to get up. The gnome cackled with glee, its little shears opening and closing in anticipation of a battle.
I frowned at it, then decided to fight fire with fire.
Little legs ran through the halls of Ivy House. They thundered down the stairs, then reached the opened front door and poured out. Little knives were held high in small hands. Chubby little legs tottered down the steps to the ground. And then a dozen or more dolls were charging the gnome.
The gnome’s smile drooped on its bearded face, and it screamed, a high-pitched, nails-on-chalkboard sound, as it darted across the grass. The dolls gave chase.
I didn’t saunter in glory. No, I ran.
As fast as I could, I sprinted down the walkway until I made it to the sidewalk, safely off Ivy House’s soil. I doubted she’d let one of those things kill me, but it was clear she had no objection to a little chase and a nip or two. She’d always felt the same way about the dolls.
“Edgar,” I said, breathing hard. “You have some serious explaining to do.”
“Yes, Miss Jessie.” He stepped too high on the muumuu as he straightened from his fall and ripped it. A tear turned into a hole, exposing a bit too much down his front. Everyone groaned in misery at having witnessed it. “I have egg on my face for this one,” he continued.
“Egg on your face and a hole in your crotch,” Hollace replied. “I’d say you’re betting aces.”
Sebastian’s glamor mask wobbled as he struggled not to laugh. And then it melted away, showing his real face. He bent over, hands on knees, and guffawed.
“You’re dead to me,” I told him.
“I’m sorry.” He put his hand over half his face, trying to block it from sight. The shifters were thankfully still back near the cars and likely couldn’t see him. “Sorry! You always seem to take something I say, like to roll with your crew’s eccentricity, and amplify it.”
“Shall we?” Austin asked, his bewilderment at my crew having turned into wariness. He must’ve been none too pleased with the gnome issue.
“You can go with us, Jessie Ironheart, if that’s okay?” Sebastian said, wiping his face. “And the alpha. We can talk on the way.”
“Put your glamor back on,” Niamh told him. “You’re scaring the gnomes with that face.”
He furrowed his brow at her, but his smile didn’t dwindle.
Ten minutes later, after Mr. Tom had repacked all his ridiculous disguises and wrestled me for the right to get them into one of the SUVs, and Edgar got a new muumuu, and everyone was loaded, we finally set off to the interrogation. Nessa was behind the wheel, Sebastian next to her, and Austin and I were in the back seat.
“Problem one, the butterflies in my stomach are turning ravenous, and I’m suddenly not sure I can do this,” I said, directing my gaze out the window. Austin held my hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth across my skin. “Problem two, my crew isn’t eccentric. The whole setup is plain madness.”