Magical Midlife Alliance – Leveling Up Read Online K.F. Breene

Categories Genre: Fantasy/Sci-fi, Paranormal, Vampires Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 128061 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 640(@200wpm)___ 512(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
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“Oh my God—” Nessa flared her fingers, looking hard at the screen. “I will, I will! Quick, who are they?”

“Oh.” I paused in pulling a face mask out from under the bath bombs. “What’s wrong with these? They’re actually kind of nice.”

“That is a present for a Jane, not a gargoyle,” she said, bracing her fists on her hips. “A gargoyle would never send that to a garhette, let alone a female gargoyle. That cairn is clearly calling you out for your past. What an insult!”

“What’d I miss?” Ulric asked, jogging back in with Mr. Tom’s laptop.

“The Zakun cairn sent her bath bombs.” Patty tsked and shook her head. “They should be invited just so I can give them a piece of my mind. Everyone—and I mean everyone—is going to hear about this. The disrespect! The sheer disrespect in a gift like that… I’m at a loss for words. I simply have nothing to say about this flagrant disrespect.”

“At…a…loss…for…words,” Nessa typed. “Absolutely…invited…here. Can’t…wait…for…fallout.” She smacked the enter key. “While we’re on the subject, though…” Nessa looked up and put out her hand. “Can I have them if you don’t want them? Because I love taking baths. I’ll use them.”

“This face mask is good, too.” I put it to the side before giving an excited little yelp at the fuzzy bathrobe beneath. “I mean…I’ll share, but I am absolutely using this. Why don’t garhettes get bath stuff as presents?”

Before Patty could answer, Sebastian craned his neck as he peered into the next box and said, “May I interest you in chocolate on a stick? It looks like you can dip it in coffee? Or milk, I guess. Or your mouth, maybe? There’s a few pictures here, along with a box of chocolates. Also…what looks like some sort of candy— Oh, peanut brittle. Duh. It’s peanut brittle. Essentially, this is a box of sugar.”

“Yum!” Nessa said, making notes.

“Another distasteful gift.” Patty went to look at the boxes in the next grouping. “This is like a poke in her eye.”

“They may have been attempting to send personalized gifts,” Nathanial said, giving me the last box in that grouping. “She’s a woman and a past Jane. They clearly looked up what that type of person might like and sent that. It seems they were correct. Let’s not apply a slight where one might not have been intended.”

“But let’s find out, one way or another,” Sebastian said, putting his box to the side. “If they did intend to deliver a slight, invite them here so we can watch Austin Steele lose his mind when they disrespect her.”

“Um…” I pulled out the contents of the last box. “Something like a Brillo pad, a full-strength nail clipper, a…whisker trimmer…” I looked up at Patty with a crinkled nose. “Do female gargoyles usually have beards and hard-to-manage fingernails?”

She tsked again. “I swear, do none of these cairns think? That is an insignificant gift for a male gargoyle.”

“It’s like a Dick getting a tie for his birthday,” Ulric said. “Pretty lame.”

“Wouldn’t that be a slight?” Nessa pointed at the box. “Could they not have looked you up online and seen your whisker-free face and dainty nails? Or is that kit for when you’re in gargoyle form?”

“Here we go.” Mr. Tom walked in with a fresh tray full of sandwiches. “I found some chicken hiding in the back of the fridge. It should suffice. You guys heal quickly, at any rate, in case the chicken has been there too long. I’ll bring some chips and fruit in a moment. Refreshments, anyone? Who is thirsty— No, I am not asking you.” He scowled at Niamh’s raised hand. “Unless you would like water. You need to drink more water.”

“Beer is basically water. I’ll take one of those,” she replied.

“Do you think we can expect anything good?” Nessa asked over their conversation. “Because so far this has been a buzzkill.”

“Let’s hope so,” Patty replied. “Boys, you can pile all the opened things to the side. We’ll distribute them or throw them away later, as needed.”

She waited for everyone’s attention before beaming at the room at large.

The feeling of one familiar and two unfamiliar presences entered the Ivy House woods way on the other side, toward the mountains. The basajaun—Dave—was returning from his home lands and had two visitors in tow. Given their stride length, they were obviously basajaunak.

I glanced at Austin with wide eyes. A tiny smile curved his lush lips as the rest of my crew reacted to the news. Other than Sebastian and Nessa, who didn’t have official places in the crew, they could all feel presences on Ivy House land as well as I could.

“Is that…?” Ulric looked at Jasper. “Dave was only going to bring one basandere to stay with us, right?”

“Did he convince someone else to come along?” Jasper asked.



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