Total pages in book: 266
Estimated words: 250787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1254(@200wpm)___ 1003(@250wpm)___ 836(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 250787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1254(@200wpm)___ 1003(@250wpm)___ 836(@300wpm)
I used to never care if I lived or died, but now death is often on my mind. The one thing I keep coming back to is if she dies before me, I’ll put a fucking bullet in my brain the day I lose her. But then I look at our children. They would need me. Our kids are strong, but to lose both parents on the same day? And one of those being due to suicide? I’d hate to leave them to the Lords to fend for themselves.
I’ve never been sick. Not a cold since they dragged me out of that place. Not a single gray hair. I’m in my home gym at least five days a week. I feel great, and I hate it. I push myself every day to do more and lift heavier—I’m the biggest and strongest I’ve ever been—to try to hurt myself but nothing happens. And Charlotte? She’s more gorgeous than ever.
She gave me three sons, and if it were up to me, I’d keep her knocked up forever. But carrying triplets wasn’t easy for her, even with the founder’s enhancements. She was on bed rest for most of her pregnancy, and the boys came early via emergency C-section. Devin and Gavin both assured us that wasn’t uncommon when it comes to triplets, and we knew early on that it wasn’t going to be a vaginal delivery. It didn’t ease my worry for my wife and children.
I had my vasectomy reversed two months after my brothers saved me. Charlotte and I have never stopped trying to have more kids, but it just never happened. Gavin said that it wasn’t a guarantee. That the percentage of it to take was ninety to ninety-five percent. Unfortunately, I didn’t have those results. That doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for what we do have.
Our house has been full of laughter and craziness. Raising three boys—future Spade brothers—hasn’t been easy, but I couldn’t have found a better partner to share it with.
All three of our sons want to join the Lords. Of course, Charlotte isn’t totally thrilled about it, but she told me she expected it. They’re all reckless and unapologetic like I was at their age.
“How is it?” I ask Devin as I stand with my arms crossed over my chest, looking at one of our demons.
“It’s looking good,” Devin answers, eyeing the stitches in my son’s thigh. “Healing nicely.” He rolls his chair over to the cabinet, and my son sits up on the table, then jumps off. He pulls his jeans up over his boxer briefs and zips them up.
“I told you guys it was no big deal.” He shrugs carelessly.
“Two inches to the left, and it would have severed your femoral artery.” Devin glares at him. “You would have bled out.”
My son’s blue eyes meet mine as he smirks, and I shake my head. That’s a boy in love. “You know your mother once stabbed me.” I chuckle at the memory.
His lips pull back with disgust. “Gross, Dad. I don’t want to know about any kinks you and Mom have.”
“You know they say sexual fetishes are hereditary,” I add.
He makes a gagging sound, and Devin just laughs.
“Come on.” I slap my son’s back. “You’re late for school.”
He slides his leather jacket on and thanks Devin. Our boys are good kids, but I’m not going to say that they don’t destroy shit on a daily basis. They’ve been unstoppable since the moment they learned to crawl. Charlotte and I have been chasing them ever since.
His phone rings, and he removes it from his pocket. “Hello?” he answers. His eyes meet mine for a brief second before he rushes to hang up. “I’ll call you back.”
“Who was that?” I ask, knowing he didn’t want me to hear his conversation.
“It was Sawyer.” He fixes the collar on his leather jacket. A sign he’s lying.
“Oh yeah? What did your brother have to say?” I check my watch. It’s almost ten. “Shouldn’t he be in class?”
“He’s running late.” He waves me off, doubling down on his lie.
“I see,” I say, letting it go. “Well, have a great day at school,” I holler as we exit the double doors of Carnage.
“See ya, Dad.” He jumps into his car and squeals his tires taking off. He's in a hurry to get to wherever he’s going, and I’m not sure if that’s school.
The boy’s mind is only on one thing, and it’s a girl. I can’t blame him, though. Mine is always on his mother. Charlotte gave me a life I only ever thought existed outside our world.
Walking down to my car, I get in and exit Carnage. Taking the short drive across the street to the opposite gate. Getting out, I enter the house my wife and I built years ago. She loved my house in the woods, so she designed one like it, but only bigger and better. She filled it with color and life.