Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 86068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Manning leans back in his chair, laughing. “I’m not worried about that,” he says, rocking. “I will tell you what I’m worried about.”
I hold up my hand to stop him. “Let me just get straight to the elephant in the room.” My neck is getting hot, and my hands are shaking a bit. “I’m not going to lie. It was not my ideal way to leave. But”—I look over at Matthew, who just nods at me—“I’m going to be one thousand percent transparent with you guys.” The lump gets bigger in my throat, but I push through. “I’m not going to sit down and shit on the other team. But what I will say is my side.” I thought telling them my story would be hard, but surprisingly, every single time I’ve said it, it gets easier and easier. Almost as if a weight was lifted from my body. “I was not in the best headspace. Press, well, you know, how press can be. Not the most supportive at times.” They both laugh at that comment. “I reached out for help, got none. Not one person wanted to step in and help me. I thought hockey was a band of brothers. I thought that it was one for all, all for one. I thought hockey was more than it was. That was my error in everything. I learned the hard way.” I look down at my hands, surprised they stopped shaking. “Swallowed the pain every single night, felt more alone than I’ve felt in my whole life. Skated off during warm-up and almost lost my life that night.” I don’t think I need to spell it out because Nico hisses, but it’s Manning who speaks first.
“For one,” he declares, “you should have never gone through that. I’ve been lucky enough to be captain to a group of sensational guys. Not all were Boy Scouts. But push comes to shove, I would have thrown down for each and every single one of them.”
“I know that this should surprise me,” Nico speaks, “but knowing who runs the show there, I’m not. It’s an old-school mentality.” He hits the nail on the head. “When my father ‘gifted,’ me the team”—he uses quotations for gifted—“he had a GM who was stuck in the seventies. He also had a contract I had to stand behind. But he didn’t do anything. I was my own GM. It took a whole thirty minutes of meeting with him to see that I was done with the old way of thinking. He was GM in name only until his contract was up. With that said, if one of my players went through what you just described and no one did anything, everyone would be fired. Period. There is no place for that in my organization, before and even more so now. Social media is a blessing and a curse. It brings the buzz for sure, but if you fuck up”—he shakes his head—“it’s not just on the news for five seconds. It’s replayed over and over again.” I shake my head because he got exactly what I went through. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
I nod at him and lay the rest of my cards on the table. “I’ve met with Vegas, Seattle, and also Arizona.” Manning and Nico just look at me. “But if truth be told, I’d love to come to Dallas not just for myself, but for Vivienne. She has family here and a support system. So if you want me, I’m yours.”
“Are you sure about this?” Matthew says from beside me.
“Never been surer of anything in my life than I am of Vivienne.” I smile, thinking of her smile. I smile, thinking about her laugh. I smile, knowing she would do whatever I wanted to stand by my side. “I get one chance to love her, and I’m not going to fuck it up by bringing her to a city she doesn’t know. So…” I turn back and look at Nico and Manning. “Ball is in your court.” I start to get up and then stop. “Another thing.” I hold up a finger. “I won’t hide my struggles. If I’m having a bad day, I’m going to talk about it. If my anxiety gets the best of me, I’m not hiding it. It’s covered up too much these days, and it’s time that people see it’s okay to not be okay.” I take a second holding up my finger. “Also, I’m not shaving nor will I have my hair cut a certain way.”
I look over at Max, who smiles at me and gets up, not saying anything. Everyone shakes hands, and only when we walk out of there and are in the garage does Max speak up. “You did good in there.” He slaps my shoulder. “There is absolutely nothing I would have done differently.”