Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 86972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“Saul has always been closed-off. It’s just this, he has a sister. He never told me. Not even when I went to the house and confronted him.”
“Was that before or after you punched him in the face?” I asked.
Rio winced. “Uh, before, and how did you hear about that?”
“Drake,” I replied.
He sighed and dropped his head into his hands. “This is my fucking fault. I assumed for years that woman was an affair. I never would have guessed the truth. An affair was all that made sense. I didn’t give him a chance to defend himself.”
I sat down in the chair across from him. “He could have told me. Sure, I yelled at him, but I didn’t punch him. I stood there waiting and he just left.”
Neither of us spoke for several minutes. My gaze was locked on the teenage Saul holding the baby girl in the photo. What had happened there? Why didn’t he tell me?
“I owe him an apology,” I said. “But this doesn’t really change anything. I love Saul and if the roles had been reversed, I wouldn’t have walked away. I would have explained. I would have begged him to listen to me.”
Rio turned his head and looked at me. Understanding in his eyes.
“He doesn’t love me. If he did, he wouldn’t have let me go without a fight,” I said for myself more than anything. I needed to hear it and accept it.
“Saul is different, Henley. You know that. He doesn’t react like normal people.” Rio tried to sound encouraging but he failed at it.
“That may be true but if he loved me, he wouldn’t have been able to walk away.”
I waited for Rio to argue and when he didn’t, I had to accept the truth.
Rio didn’t leave that night to go see Saul. I knew he wanted to make things right with him, but he refused to leave me. I don’t know what he thought I’d do if left alone. I went to bed and stared at the ceiling for hours before sleep finally came, and when it did, the dreams were all of Saul. His clear blue eyes, dark curly hair, and his smile. I knew it would forever haunt me.
The sound of a lawn mower woke me and at first I thought it was a dream. One created from my memory. However, the sound got louder, and when I opened my eyes, the sunlight streaming into the room made it very clear I was not dreaming. Sitting up, I swung my legs off the bed. My feet hit the soft rug and I walked over to the window to look outside.
Saul was cutting the grass. I acted on instinct. If I sat here and thought it through, I was afraid I wouldn’t do what needed to be done. What Saul deserved. My fear of what looking into his eyes would do to me shouldn’t keep me from apologizing.
I slipped on the cut-off shorts that I had left on my floor last night and slipped on flip flops then hurried outside. My heart was pounding from nerves as I walked down the steps. I had lain in bed last night, thinking about what I would say to him when I saw him. All of the well thought-out speeches left me though when I turned the corner and he stopped as his eyes met mine. The cowboy hat on his head shaded his eyes and I couldn’t see his expression to know how well my apology was going to be accepted.
He cut the engine off the lawnmower, but he didn’t move.
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Want me to come back later?”
I shook my head.
“The grass was getting high and I doubted you were gonna cut it,” he said.
“I’m sorry!” I blurted out. Nothing like the big speeches I had orchestrated in my head.
He said nothing and I wondered if I had time to fix this and try to do this more eloquently.
“I accused you because it was all that made sense. You never told me. You didn’t even tell me then. You just left. And that’s fine. You would rather walk away from me. I just wanted you to know I was sorry I accused you. You deserved better. From both me and Rio. You didn’t have to come cut the grass. I know you do it for Gran, but this isn’t her house anymore. It belongs to me.”
I was not going to cry. I was not going to cry. I was not going to cry. At least not in front of him.
He didn’t respond and I realized he wasn’t planning on it. I turned and went back to the stairs. With each step I took away from him, my chest hurt. My eyes stung and I wanted nothing more than to feel as he did. Nothing.