Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 86972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“In the morning, I am taking Lily to a rehab facility in Maine. She will stay there for a year,” he said, while I was slicing the bread.
“Oh,” I replied when so many other questions were running through my head. He had talked about her going to a rehab again but not that far away or for that long.
“She asked to go,” he added. His expression didn’t tell me much. The dark circles under his eyes, however, told me he was exhausted.
“Are you okay with this?” I asked.
He nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, I am. It’s time she does something. I can’t continue on like this. She’s out of fucking control and I am not equipped to handle it. I’m just so damn tired of it all.” As he said it, I could see the pain cross his expression.
I sat down the knife and walked around the counter. “Then why do you look like this hurts?” I asked him, reaching up to touch his face.
He closed his eyes a moment and when he opened them to look at me again, he replied, “Because she’s my mom. I shouldn’t feel like this. I shouldn’t want her to go. I shouldn’t be tired of helping her. I am all she has. But I am so goddamn tired of it. I am so fucking tired of it.”
“Any one would be tired of it, Saul. You are the best son I’ve ever known. You have done everything you can for her, including altering your life to deal with her addiction. She wants to go because she loves you and she knows what she is doing to you.”
A sad smile touched his face. “That’s what she said. Or something like it,” he told me.
I was glad Lily realized it. I just wish it hadn’t taken her so long. I pressed a kiss to his cheek then went back around the counter to make his grilled cheese. He watched but remained silent. I didn’t ask more questions, but I did want to know when he would be back.
It wasn’t until I was grilling the sandwich on the stove that he spoke again. “I should be back on Tuesday. Latest Wednesday,” he said.
I put two muffins on a plate and slid them over to him. “I’ll pour you some real milk,” I told him with a smile.
“Real milk as in whole milk from a cow?” he asked, as I took the half gallon I had bought for him out of the fridge.
I showed it to him. “Yep.”
For the first time since he arrived, a grin broke out on his beautiful face. “Damn, I feel special.”
I poured him a glass. “You should,” I said teasingly and handed it to him.
He took a long drink before setting it back down. I finished his sandwich while he ate the muffins. When I placed the grilled cheese in front of him, he was watching me.
“What?” I asked him, smiling at his serious expression.
“Nothing. I was just thinking,” he replied, picking up the grilled cheese. “Thank you,” he said before taking a bite.
“You’re welcome,” I told him then picked up a muffin and walked around to sit on the bar stool beside him.
Saul was changing. He was talking to me more. Trusting me. I realized it and I also knew he still needed time. Keeping things to himself was the way he had dealt with life. I couldn’t change it overnight. But he was doing it for me, for us…
Thirty-Eight
During my days off, Saul was gone to Maine. I tried some new recipe ideas and when they worked, I was sure to write them down for Hillya. Emily came over Sunday evening and we had a Grey’s Anatomy season three marathon while eating cupcakes and popcorn.
Saul called me twice and texted me updates, but he never mentioned what day he would be home. I didn’t ask him because I knew he was dealing with having to leave his mom there. Although he was relieved she had decided to do this, he had so much guilt about not being able to help her himself.
Monday night I was going through the kitchen and organizing Gran’s kitchen cabinets to work for me since I intended to stay. That was something else I had decided in Saul’s absence. I was going to tell him when he returned. Gran was right about me needing to start over in a new place. To find my town and build a life. I couldn’t imagine doing that anywhere but here. In this house, where I had so many wonderful memories and in this town, where I had found family and where I had found Saul.
The knock on the door had me jumping up and rushing to open it, thinking it was Saul and he was home. However, when I turned the corner, it was Rio I saw on the other side of the door. Slowing my pace, I walked the rest of the way and unlocked the dead bolt then opened it.