Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 113944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
“Promise me.”
She unlocked her back teeth. “Fine. I promise. Now, why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“I did want to tell you. You have no idea how much. No idea how hard it was to keep it from you. But you’ve got enough going on—I didn’t want to pile something else on you. I had no idea which way this would go, whether you’d be pleased or freaked. I wasn’t sure you were secure enough in our relationship to handle it. I won’t take it well if you reject the bond, Gwen, and I didn’t want tension between us at a time when you needed me here for you.”
Gwen inwardly cursed. She was hurt that he’d kept it from her, wanted to be mad at him, but that response was impossible to be mad at. “How long have you believed we’re mates?”
“Since the night that Rory attacked you.” His wolf growled as he recalled what happened. “Do you remember I told you that my wolf was guarded around you at first?”
She nodded.
“You know he’s not anymore. What you don’t know is why he acted that way in the first place. It was Ally who worked it out. My wolf is . . . damaged, I guess you could say. The people who were important to him let him down. I can relate to that, and I think you can too.”
She inclined her head.
“So, it stands to reason that he’d be wary of anything or anyone that had the potential to wound him that badly again. I didn’t think of that. But once I did, once I put it all together, everything became perfectly clear. Like a veil had been lifted.”
“You really think I’m your mate?” she asked. He shook his head, and her stomach dropped.
“I know you are.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Think about how fascinated you’ve always been by shifters. Hell, you were even obsessed with wolves.”
“I wouldn’t say obsessed.”
“Some part of you knew where you belonged. It all adds up. And if that isn’t convincing enough for you, ask yourself this: How would it feel if I walked away from you? I know how it would feel, Gwen, because it would be the same for me if you sent me away. That’s not a normal kind of hurt, is it?”
Considering her chest felt like it was on fire at just the idea, no it wasn’t normal. “I know you said that it’s not so easy to sense the bond. I know that. But we let our guard down with each other. Hell, I even committed to joining your pack, yet we haven’t sensed anything.”
“It’s not just about mental walls, Gwen. So many things can block the frequency.”
“Like fears and secrets,” she remembered. “You know I fear happiness like a weirdo, and you know about Geena and that I’m an informant for The Movement. I don’t have any other secrets.”
“Sometimes a couple will feel the bond without baring that much of themselves—it can depend on a lot of things. But one thing is absolutely guaranteed to block the frequency.”
“What’s that?”
“The unwillingness to believe that it might be there.” He slid his hands from her shoulders to her neck. “You have to let yourself wonder if it is, Gwen. And I know how hard that’s going to be for you, because it will mean letting yourself hope. And you fear hope almost as much as you fear happiness, because the two are very much linked.”
He was right. It might have been kind of backward to fear hope, but Gwen did. Feared hoping and reaching for something, only to be disappointed. She’d spent a good portion of her childhood hoping. Hoping that Hanna would love her, hoping that her stepfather would stop hurting Hanna, hoping she’d never be forced to lie to protect him from the police ever again. Hoping had done her a fat lot of good. She’d thought that just maybe fate or luck had intervened and led her to the Millers. But it turned out that Kenny had intervened.
“Until you can let yourself wonder if it could be true, we won’t feel that bond.” His wolf wanted Zander to bite her, claim her, so she couldn’t get away. But, though it killed him, Zander said, “Take some time to think about it all. Think about what I told you. What you feel. What you need.”
“Wouldn’t it be hard for you to give me time? I mean, if you think I’m your mate, isn’t it hard for you not to claim me?”
“Hell, yeah, it’s hard. For me and for my wolf. He constantly pushes me to claim you. It’s been killing me that I couldn’t tell you about it, but I didn’t know how you’d react. And giving you time won’t be easy for me, but if that’s what you need, I’ll give it to you.”