Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 26698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Even though my thoughts are confident, filled with malice for the man who hurt me for so long, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to do it, make him experience what he made me feel.
Perhaps with the help of my uncle, I can. But only time will tell.
For now, I lean my head against the door and sigh. Sully is a good person. I can see it in his eyes. But he’s not for me. He can’t be.
I’m nowhere near ready for something like that. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be.
FOUR
SULLY
I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop my feet from movin’ inside behind the beautiful, broken woman. I’ve seen people who are fecked up because life dealt them a blow, but this is something vastly different. This is worse.
She’s not broken.
She’s tattered.
Tiny pieces of a woman lyin’ at my feet.
I’m in here for one reason only, but Clover has distracted me. Monster wants me to get information, but I can’t do that yet. Tonight, when the staff are gone, I’ll get the files he needs, but for now, I have time to talk to this girl who’s stumbled into my life and turned my feckin’ head.
I’ve seen shite like this before. Those flickers of fear in her pretty eyes are emotions I’ve witnessed so many times while growin’ up. I can’t stand by and watch another woman get hurt. I’ll never do that. Ever again.
Which brings me to the clinic and Clover, who’s runnin’ from somethin’ or someone. It has to be a boyfriend or husband. It’s usually the case. I hate it. I may be a feckin’ arsehole at the best of times, but I’d never raise my hand to a woman. Any man who thinks he can do that is a feckin’ cunt.
Something inside me ticks over, a possessiveness that makes me want to take her and put her back together. To mend her. But how can I do that when I’m not even whole myself. She’s not mine, and I can never take that leap with anyone, but if I can help her in some small way, I’ll do it.
As much as I know I have nothin’ to offer her, I can’t bring myself not to go to her. My pain, those scars I’ve lived with for so long, force me forward because I know what it’s like to live with demons. This will be a short and sweet meetin’. Fer once, I’ve picked up a lucky Clover, even though I know I have ta let her go when the time comes. I’m not in here fer very long, so it means even if she wanted more, it’ll never happen. Besides the fact she’s American and will probably head home after her stint in here, I have too many feckin’ secrets to keep.
I find one of the nurses strollin’ down the hallway as I reach the fourth floor. “Nurse Gillian, do ye know where Clover’s room is, please? Somethin’ happened outside, and I want ta see if she’s all right.”
Her big brown eyes stare at me for a moment before she nods. “Three-one-four,” she offers. “No funny business.” Her thick accent reminds me of my school headmistress when I was a wee boy. She was strict as shite, but she was a good woman.
I offer a smile and a nod. “Ach, aye, I swear to ye, I just want to make sure she’s doin’ okay.” I pass the nurse and head down towards the rooms. With each white door I pass, I look up at the numbers, countin’ them down as I get nearer. When I finally reach hers, I stare at it for so long I’m certain I’m the stalker she called me out as earlier.
Raisin’ my fist, I rap on the wood twice and wait. The silence that greets me is deafenin’. I’m about to knock again when the door swings open, and standin’ there, on the threshold, is a beautiful woman with black streaks of eyeliner on her cheeks. Her white dreadlocks are tied at the back of her head, showing her beautiful face, and her big, green eyes which are blotchy and red from cryin’.
She doesn’t say anythin’ and neither do I. If I had to be honest with myself, it’s the first time in years that I’m speechless. There are only a handful of moments where I’ve found myself lookin’ for the right thing to say, and this is one of the more important times. I didn’t expect it to happen, not with someone I don’t know, but here we are.
Her body is tremblin’ with sobs, and I want to pull her into my arms. My fingers itch to touch her, to reach out and tell her I’m here for her. But I don’t. Not yet anyway. I can’t offer up promises I can’t keep. Not that I don’t want to. Feck me, I’d promise this girl the world if I could.