Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Lennox ducks his head and claims my breast, suckling the hard bead of my nipple. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“Not this,” I mutter with a raspy giggle. “Well, yes, this too, but I meant Bloomington. Life. Indiana. You.”
“And also this.”
“And also this. Living our best life, even if other people won’t understand it, even if it’s all top secret and sort of dangerous, and even if it means not seeing the people we love for a few months. I’ll still be Cass to them. Always. I’m somewhat going to be like a double agent now, which is super badass, and I’ve never thought of myself as a badass. I’ve always seen Ayana that way, seeing as her dad is a biker, and she was super cool and had the whole goth vibe pretty much down in high school. I like that ever since you came back to San Diego and we…well, got together for real, I feel like I’ve been carving out my own path. I chose you then, and I’m choosing you now. I’ll always choose you.”
Lennox looks up at me, his eyes shining. He kisses me softly and buries his hands in my hair while I wrap mine around his shoulders, holding on tightly to him. “I never want this to end, Cass. Not ever.”
“This? Like the backseat thing or us? Because the backseat thing can be repeated. And us? We won’t ever end, I’m certain of it. I love you. I freaking love you more than…more than…I don’t know. More than the earth is heavy. Is it heavy? I’m pretty sure it weighs a lot.”
“I’m sure it’s heavy. There probably isn’t even a number that high,” Lennox replies.
“Like it probably has a lot of zeroes.”
“Too many to make sense of.”
“But it still works and turns,” I add.
“It does. And so do we. Or were we actually talking about us all along?”
I trace his bottom lip with my index finger. I feel as warm as the sun out there and just as bright. “We’re a family. A real family. I’ve been welcomed into it. You might have had a shit family at the beginning, but then you got a real one, and real families never abandon each other. You’re not normal, and that’s okay. I’m not normal, either. I never wanted normal. Normal sucks.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it, my love. Now can I please do what I promised and eat my picnic?”
I pretend to sigh, but it’s hard when I’m this turned on. Turned on enough that my ovaries could seriously explode. “If you must.”
“Oh, I must. It’s a matter of life or death.”
“If it’s that serious, then by all means.”
“I love you, Cassadina. Thanks for coming all the way to Chicago to find me, and thanks for bringing me back. Thank you, too, for being wonderful every single day. For being you, for being willing to journey with me wherever we might end up, for giving up a lot of stuff, and for being brave enough to gain a lot too.”
“Jeez, Lennox. You’re going to make me cry over here.” I wipe away an ominous bit of moisture from my eye.
“On that note, one super fabulous backseat orgasm that would make our raunchy high school selves—granted, we never were raunchy, so I guess this will make those unlived parts of us proud—coming right up.”
“Our unlived high school selves. Sounds good. But you know what? Being our regular selves right now is also excellent. All the good and all the bad. We’re still here right now, and that’s what counts.”
Lennox wraps his hands around my waist and positions me right where he wants me, which is kind of jammed up against the window, somewhat contorted in the seat, and really freaking excited and tingly everywhere else.
“Remind me to crack a beer and toast to that when we get to Bloomington,” he says cheerfully.
“I will.” I wipe away a few more errant tears, sniffle, then jam my back against the window. “Right now, you have two minutes before we probably get arrested or someone comes out with a shotgun to see what we’re doing parked on their land. Let’s make the most of it.”
“Oh, I most certainly plan on it. I can set a timer if you want. To start now and continue on forever into oblivion.”