Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
But ultimately, I knew I couldn’t do it. I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge or responsibility. I realized that I have to take responsibility for this because that’s just the way I am. I’ve been taking responsibility for myself since I was a young child.
“I don’t want to have an abortion,” I tell Luc, and I don’t miss the way his shoulders relax with this news. “I’ll raise the baby by myself if you don’t want any part of it.”
His eyebrows draw inward and his eyes are troubled. “I’m prepared to support this child if it’s mine.”
“Well,” I grit out, as I don’t like the reminder that he’s not accepting my word on this. “You won’t know that for another month, so that brings me back to my original question. What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t take the opportunity to strike back at me but gives a sigh that’s filled with frustration and perhaps a yearning for a return to what his life was like before he met me.
“I figured if we were going to go through this together,” he replies cautiously, “we should at least try to get to know each other a little bit.”
I give him a smile that’s not a smile and tell him sweetly, “And I’ll be glad to do that after the first appointment and you’re satisfied about paternity.”
“Goddammit, Stephy,” Luc snarls at me as he sits up straight in his seat. “This is hard on me too. I’m not ready to be a father.”
“Well, I’m not ready to be a mother,” I snap back at him.
“I actually think I believe you when you say the baby is mine,” he says.
“That’s a quite the turnaround,” I mutter.
“I had a bad experience in my past that may have colored my initial judgment of this situation,” he explains to me. “I’m sorry…but the first place my head went to was that I was getting played.”
This is actually something I could see happening to a professional athlete. “Someone claimed you got her pregnant?”
He shakes his head quickly. “No, not that. But someone I think was seeing dollar signs when she looked at me.”
I wince. That actually kind of sucks, so I get why he may have had some qualms with me claiming I was pregnant.
“So you’re going to give me the benefit of the doubt now?” I ask to make sure I understand what he’s saying.
Luc smiles at me, and this time it is genuine through and through. “I believe that’s the right thing to do. And I am serious…I think we should get to know each other. I want to be involved. Having a kid is a big deal and I don’t want to miss out on anything. If I’m going to be involved, it will make things easier. If you’ll let me, that is.”
I have a moment of unfettered relief over the realization that I’m not going to go through this alone. Thirty seconds ago I had no one I could talk to, and now I’ve got Luc standing in front of me saying he wants to be on this very scary journey with me. It’s profoundly comforting, even if I’m ordinarily not one that takes to friendship very well.
I smile back at him and try to lighten the mood just a little, as well as making sure that I’ve got no expectations other than having his involvement as a father along with me. “I’ve got no problem with us trying to get to know each other. Just don’t go down on bended knee and ask me to marry you, because the answer will be no.”
I’m thankful he’s not offended by this. He chuckles and says, “I’m pretty sure we can muddle our way through this without having to get married.”
It works well for me that he’s not old-fashioned to the extent that he believes marriage is the solution to this unplanned pregnancy. If he were to be so gallant as to offer it, the answer would be 100 percent no because I don’t intend to ever get married. I hadn’t intended to have a child, but well…I’m going to have to adapt now.
I come from a family that’s so fucked up we took the “function” out of “dysfunctional” in all of the psychiatry books. He has no clue that I have no idea how to provide a family atmosphere for this child, but I sort of get the idea that he does just by the way he’s stepping up to take responsibility. I’m going to have to learn how to be a decent parent, and I’m going to have to figure out how to accept his support, since I’m so used to just doing things for myself.
But that’s not something I can explain right now, because Luc is a perfect stranger to me. Perfect would be the key word in that description, because he is even far yummier in daylight, I’m ashamed to note. When I saw Luc at the gala, I was instantly attracted to him. He has those all-American looks, which is funny, since he’s French Canadian. Yes, I know a lot about Luc as well as many members of the Cold Fury, since I’m a big fan.