Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 68033 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68033 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
“I just need to grab a few things from the office and I’ll be outta your hair,” Cam said.
“Don’t rush. It’s your house.”
“Take your time about leaving.” Cam settled onto the couch, the line of his lips not quite committing to a smile. “I’m headed back to Paris tonight and have no plans of coming back here anytime soon.”
Kerris sat on the couch across from Cam. They were newly divorced, but still had so many memories and a lot of pain looming between them, like a smear on their hearts that might not ever be wiped completely clean. Kerris hoped they’d be able to find a cleaner slate. If for no other reason than restoring the friendship that she knew, beneath all of the enmity and bitterness, both men still missed and needed. She wanted Cam in their lives. She missed the easy friendship they’d once shared before her misguided choices wrecked everything. Not just for her, but for Cam. And for Walsh.
“Cam, can I say something?”
He considered her warily from the corner of the leather couch.
“What?”
“I wanted a family, a home, a future with someone I could spend my life with.” Kerris ran damp palms across the pleat in her tailored slacks. “And when you offered that to me the night of the scholars dinner, knowing I couldn’t love you the same way, I thought it was possible, but I was wrong.”
Cam continued watching her, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.
“But I don’t ever want you to think I didn’t love you.” Kerris swallowed the lump burning a hole in her throat. “And I know you loved me. It just wasn’t the love marriages are made of. We were so good as friends. I just wish we could have left it that way. I’m sorry…I’m sorry for everything.”
She forced her eyes to remain glued to his, hoping the détente they had reached in the cemetery could hold through what she needed to say.
“I grabbed what you offered me with both hands and ran, thinking I could ignore or bury what I felt for Walsh. And I was doing okay with it, until he was kidnapped. That was such a scary day.”
“Yeah, for me, too.”
Kerris knew how important Cam and Walsh had been to each other. She just had to figure out how to get them to see it and admit it again.
“When he came home from Haiti…I don’t know. We just…the walls I’d built up to protect the three of us just fell, and in that one moment, we kissed.”
“Yeah, I was there for that one part.” A smile tugged at the corner of Cam’s mouth, and Kerris marveled not for the first time at his twisted sense of humor, a blessing and a curse.
“I felt so guilty and so broken after that. I knew I had ruined something special between the two of you, and between you and me, but I was determined to make good on the promise I made to you.”
Kerris wondered, not for the first time, how she would ever keep her promise to Kristeene.
“And then I got pregnant,” she said. “And I thought that was our miracle to make everything right again, but nothing was right. I was only half there, and I knew you sensed that. I’m sorry for so much.”
“You may not believe it, but so am I.” Cam swallowed visibly, emotion twisting his mouth until he straightened it. “What I made you do the night I saw you with Walsh—”
“Cam, don’t.” She couldn’t talk about that. Not now. “You didn’t force me.”
“Didn’t I?” His eyes carried the apology before he voiced it. “I’m sorry, Kerris. Sometimes I just…sometimes I’m not a good guy. Can you forgive me for that night?”
“I do.” She reached across the space separating them to grip his hand. “And I know you feel guilty for leaving me after the accident. Don’t. It was the best thing for all of us. I would never have been the one to leave. You saved us both by leaving. I understand that now.”
“I’m glad.” Cam offered her the kind of smile they hadn’t shared in years. “I guess.”
“Cam, we used to be friends.” Kerris brushed tears away with one hand and gripped his hand harder with the other. “You remember that?”
“Yeah.” Cam stood to his feet, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “I remember.”
“I want that back. I want the best for you. For you to be happy and healthy.” Kerris paused, knowing the subject she needed to broach would take her toward an injured animal that might claw her flesh at any moment. “I’ve been seeing a therapist.”
Cam narrowed his eyes at her, a warning to not go where she was about to go.
“Good for you.”
“It could be good for you, too, Cam. You still have those nightmares?”