Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
I close my eyes, feeling like an idiot, before I mutter, “We got into a huge fight.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” she whispers. “What about?”
I explain that Emery’s been living with me and that she’s hell-bent on me not marrying Ava. I don’t miss the grin my mom tries to hide as she says, “Well, that’s pretty on-brand for our dear Emery.”
“Yeah, but she’s taking it too far, and Ava is pissed.”
“About what? Ava isn’t living with you, and you two are childhood friends.”
“Yeah, but Ava knows we’re more than just childhood friends, Mom. She thinks that Emery will do something to embarrass her family. Hell, I’m sure she’s nervous I’ll call the whole thing off. She knows how I feel about Emery.”
Mom doesn’t say anything for a long while, but then she says, “You knew she was coming back anyway, right? I think Emery decided before Grandpa and Grandma passed.”
My heart clenches at the mention of my grandparents, who loved me and always encouraged something between Emery and me.
You two look good together, Grandma would say.
The greatest lover is a best friend, Grandpa would say while waggling his brushy brows at me.
I ignore that thought—hell, I’ve been ignoring a fucking lot when it comes to Emery lately. But the tears in her eyes, the sob that broke from her lips…no, I can’t ignore that.
That reaction is engrained in me.
“You two were so young—”
“But she left,” I say in a low voice. “I know why. I get it. But Mom, I would have loved her. Not stifled her or held her back.”
“You’re right, and I trust and believe that. But I understand her truth too. She was scared.”
A tear rolls down my face as I think back to the moment out at the chalet for Christmas. How the snow fell around us and she choked back her sobs. She was young. We both were, and honestly, we still are. I can’t kick the knowledge that she ran. She cut off communication. She didn’t want to stay even the most casual of friends. She wanted an acquaintance she could wish happy holidays to. “I don’t believe she wants me. It’s more that she’s a toddler and someone has stolen the toy she wanted.”
My mom tsks as she shifts back to look at me. I meet her pleading emerald eyes, and they cut just as deep as my lie to Emery did. “Emery is a lot of things, but you know as well as I do, when she wants something, it’s because she truly wants it.” I let myself digest what she just said, but the insecurities stay at the forefront of my mind. My mom’s voice is small and hesitant as she says, “Quinny, I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know why you’re so determined to marry that girl. I know Emery has a lot of faults, and I understand why you feel the way you do. But have you asked what she is thinking? Have you two talked it out? You have a lot unsaid between the two of you. It seems you two jumped right into how it was before, and honey, everything has changed.”
“You’re right. We did,” I say, shaking my head. “But really, it doesn’t matter.”
She wipes my cheek, catching a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen. Her eyes are wise and so full of love. “I think it does.”
“It can’t,” I whisper. “Emery will ruin everything.”
Air rushes out of my mom as she wraps her arms around me like she wants to put me back together. For the first time in my life, I know she can’t. The only glue that could is Emery.
Shit, I can’t think like that.
Mom kisses my cheek, and against it, she offers, “Or she’ll make everything the way you’ve always wanted it to be.”
A lump forms in my throat as I close my eyes and lean my head to hers. My whole body is racked by my sobs, and I wish I could take back what I said. I wish I hadn’t gotten into that argument with her. One, she was drunk. And two, emotions are always high when it comes to her and me. I don’t want to lose her again, but I don’t know how to keep her at arm’s length. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to her. I asked her once if she wanted me to wait for her, and she said she couldn’t do that to me.
I can’t do it to her.
“What did you lie to her about?”
By the grace of God, my phone rings, keeping me from answering that question. I dig it out since it’s well past one in the morning and no one would be calling to tell me my auto warranty is expired. I see that it’s Flynn, and my stomach drops.
Shit. Is Em okay?