Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
The worst that can happen is I get canceled.
The best?
This guy, whoever he is, could be from my group or TestME, either way, he’s not okay and I’ve known that feeling for so long, that I’d do anything to help someone not have it. The pressure of knowing you have to look and be perfect, the fact that you can’t curse on TV, the fact that I have to live up to an image that even a saint couldn’t emulate—even watching fandoms go against each other during shows. The toxicity is overwhelming., Every day I have to push through the hell, and my only strength is my members.
They are all I have.
We are all we have.
Each other.
And nobody is noticing his fingertip’s.
But I do.
“Son of a bitch!” I roar.
Everyone gasps.
Guy in the mask freezes, his hands immediately stop shaking. I shrug, knowing I’m still in my clown costume but that people will most likely recognize my voice. I speak in English, clear English probably because I’m feeling brave.
“Sorry, thought I saw a bee.” Mishel quickly recovers and grabs the masked guy’s hand. “Him, I pick him as my partner because he’s so mysterious and hot, so I guess we all get to go on this trip to the haunted school, huh? Hope we win!” She looks over at me and nods her head a bit. She’s protecting him, just like I did because the producer set up was so real it was painful.
I respond back with a gentle nod of my chin.
Lucas and Grace both smile—they seem forced—but I’m sure it’s just their fear of me having to take a hiatus once everyone finds out I cursed on live TV.
Why does a hiatus sound like the best thing that can ever happen to me?
Lucas clasps his hands together. “All right, let’s go! We are live, after all.” The look he gives me is a complete reminder that I have to be careful, but at this point, what’s even happening. This is all for… what?
Grace’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but I don’t feel bad about it, I feel bad that we’re getting subjected to what feels like emotional torture.
Scratch that.
It is emotional torture.
And you know it’s not good when you potentially feel bad for your enemy. And that’s where I’m at.
Producer Lee makes a signal with his hand, Ari’s standing behind him, just watching us as we all walk out of the room, apparently it’s time to get into the vans and go experience more fear.
Sounds great.
But when I start walking next to Dueri, she whispers under her breath. “I don’t know which one you are, I’ll have a guess later, but thank you for doing that.”
“Doing what?” I play dumb.
She actually reaches for my hand and holds it briefly. “For being brave when he couldn’t.”
I know I saved him in a tough spot.
“He has a girlfriend. He’s in love with her and being picked… and then having it filmed on live TV.” She shakes her head. “I would bet money that it’s him.”
“How do you know?” I whisper under my breath.
She shakes her head then leans on my shoulder. She knows she’s not supposed to get close to me or try to seduce me. She knows she’s supposed to play with the cameras, flirt with them instead of us. And she does just that. She laughs and touches my mask then puts the bow back on my clown head. “Because I’ve been a fan of both groups since both debut, and I protect my idols at all costs. So thank you.”
I’m in shock.
I’ve never heard anyone outside our circle speak this way. And to know that a fan feels so protective is humbling.
Stunned I almost stop walking, then whisper my own truth, suddenly comfortable in front of a complete stranger, knowing somehow I can implicitly trust her. “If I wasn’t already in love with someone I think you’d make me fall.”
She stumbles.
I catch her.
And when she looks up at me she nods. “I’ll protect you too, Sookie,” She loops her arm in mine. “And the girl you love.”
“I think,” I smile down at her. “We just became best friends.”
“You know,” She shrugs as she gets into the van, the cameras are following us all but not closely. “You may be my new bias.”
I burst out laughing and hold up my hand for a high five. She jumps into my arms instead and leans into my neck. “Give them something to watch, then go back to her, take the focus off of your cursing.”
I spin her around and set her down, all before she turns toward the cameras and says. “I already know who my idol is for the day, does that mean I win prize money and we get to go first?”
Producer Lee is looking down at his phone eyes wide, he elbows Director Simon, who then elbows Ari, who won’t even look my way. Her face is tense, and I can’t tell what she’s thinking, but I do know that she’s been watching my interaction with Dueri. I know if the tables were turned I wouldn’t be too happy.